How bad is it, be honest? I was raised in a weird ass cult, i left of course but now im always told being my age and a virgin is a huge turn off to guys. Im wondering if i should just keep dating and hope it doesn’t turn everyone off just or visit a sex worker to get it over with already? Where would i even find male sex workers? Even if i do that, will THAT also be a turn off too? Theres still a part of me that wants it to happen with someone i at least know and like but im thinking my age wont allow that. Cults really suck ass
20 comments
I’m in a similar boat, minus the cult part. I’m also 26 and still a virgin
It’ll happen when it’s right for you, lovely. Don’t forget how many men are jerks (women, too). Anyone who isn’t considerate enough to take enough time, and effort, to make sure that your first time is a good one isn’t worth *your* time 😘
It’s really not a turn off for a significant number of men. Don’t make it a big deal and the right guy won’t either. And please don’t consider a sex worker unless you really desire to do so. You don’t need to.
There are a ton of mid 20s virgin guys out there (at least judging by the posts on here). I wouldn’t recommend some of them that post here (based on the anger they seem to have towards women and life in general), but I have to believe there are some decent ones that would be happy to explore together. Don’t expect the first time to be great, but “practice makes perfect”
Not a turn off at all for me. If nothing else, I’d have to be a special sort of hypocrite to find that a problem as I’m a 34 y.o. virgin (male) myself.
Depends. if it is a hook up some will care and some will be flattered. If it is someone serious they won’t care.
It’s not a turn off. Depends a lot on how you act on it. I’d (31m) be perfectly fine with a virgin that is excited to learn and try. I’d be put off by someone super scared of everything (personal ofc)
28 male here and don’t find that to be a turn off at all. You just need to find the right guy. Personal opinion I think I would rather have a Virgin so I can teach her what I like instead of breaking bad old habits.
Meh anyone who has an issue with it is either an idiot or has some psychological problem… We were all there once and it shouldn’t be any issue
All it really means is your first few partners should be more perceptive to your reactions while adjusting accordingly and to be gentle is all. It takes time to figure out all your likes and dislikes for us all
Are the guys who are telling you that “it’s a turnoff” trying to have sex with you? Because that’s what they would say as part of that motivation.
i am 19 male and still virgin and i haven’t had my first kiss still 🙁
I _think_ the absolute majority of men would see this as a turn-on. Nevertheless, the amount of guys that would see it as an issue is small.
I am a giver and a natural teacher so for me this would be a big turn on. I don’t know why someone would think it was a turn off except to say that they would assume perhaps that you had some mental hangup, which are notoriously difficult to get past.
Not a turn off at all.
There is nothing wrong with beings 26 virgin. I for one would b more than happy to take u out to dinner n get to know u.
I found a male sex worker for women here on Reddit, of all damn places. They certainly won’t find it a turn off but they’re so careful about STIs that they may demand you get tested anyways even though for you such a thing would be quite pointless
Some guys will mind and some guys won’t. Guys looking for one night stands are more likely to say no to a virgin. Guys interested in longer term relationships are less likely to make a big deal – because fundamentally…this is just one detail of many many details about you. There’s a lot more to you than how much sex you’ve had before, and it doesn’t have to define you.
A lot of people have had a lot of sex and are still terrible at it. And some unexperienced people are enthusiastic, open minded, and good communicators and quickly learn how to please themselves and their partner(s). A lot of it is more your attitude towards sex than anything.
And this is not exactly an answer to your question but: Instead of fixating on how to be what others want sexually – what do YOU want? What kind of partner would you want to have? What personality traits? How would you expect that person to respond to your virginity? When would they expect you to bring it up? (Note: you don’t necessarily need to frontload this info when online dating before you’ve even met face to face!)
What do YOU want your first sexual experiences to look like? How do you want to be treated? What would make it satisfying for you?
This is also a great time to do more exploring of your own body and desires to learn more about what you like, so you can communicate to a future partner. There’s tons of great sex ed content out there, lots of virgin-friendly sex toys, and if you’re nervous about penetration (many people from strict religious backgrounds can have anxiety around this) you can even get a set of vaginal dilators to practice inserting objects and relaxing around them. This can all give you more knowledge of and confidence in your body, for you. And future partners will benefit from your self knowledge too.
All in all, more people than you think are virgins at 26, some guys will care, some won’t, but either way do what’s good for you and find someone on the same page.
You are going to notice when you start asking the question the right way, that a lot of people really, really enjoy to be someone else’s first.
To be fair, some people dislike it as well. But that means that you should look on the right side of the divider, rather than assuming that everyone is on the wrong side of it.
Seriously. I haven’t been someones first since I was a teenager. And I would absolutely love to do it again. (just so that we are clear, this is not an offering.) And I know for a fact that this mindset is shared by a lot of other guys too.
The other thing I think you do wrong in your mindset here, is that you are thinking about your first *time*. You should be thinking about your first *times*. As in, find a guy who wants to share all of your firsts with you. Over, you know, a longer period of time. Enough that you get comfortable with him. Enough that you learn what you like and what you want. Should probably take a few times, you know.
I hope you know that anyone who would judge you is not worth your time or your virginity. I’m happy you’re out of the cult and safe. I’ve met 32 year old virgins so you’re not alone. Find someone willing to take there time and teach you. It’s the age of the internet now and sex toys. Best thing I can suggest is buy a few toys and enjoy exploring your body.
It’s a plus not a turnoff for someone consider commitment