I (18f) have been dating my girlfriend (18f) for around a year now. This has been my first ever relationship, so it’s genuinely my only experience with dating. Today I found out that I’ve apparently been in a polycule for multiple months. We never had a discussion on it, and I only found out today because she called us and our friend (who I now know she’s in a relationship with)a polycule in a text message to a group chat with numerous other people. I rarely ever check this group chat, so I decided to check through the chat log. And well, it was pretty obvious she was serious about being in a polycule. (they were openly flirting in the chat, using the /r tone indicator and everything.) My only question is, what do I do? I don’t exactly mind being in a poly relationship, but at the same time I just don’t have any big feelings on it. But I don’t know how to go forward in this relationship when she didn’t communicate this with me directly? I’m wondering how to move forward without rocking the boat, reddit?
10 comments
If you haven’t explicitly discussed it beforehand then you’re not in a poly relationship. You’re being cheated on and your GF is shameless enough to think she can get away with it with this poly excuse.
I’d break up
There’s nothing inherently wrong with being in a poly relationship but the fact that this has never been spoken about openly between you two is a major red flag on your girlfriend’s part.
You say that you don’t mind the idea of being poly but how do you feel about not being given a chance to voice your feelings? That is some major disrespect, IMHO.
This isn’t a poly relationship. She’s cheating on you. Big difference.
This is just cheating wtf
You are not in a poly relationship. You’re being cheated on.
I don’t really get it – if you know that she was in a relationship with that friend of yours, then what’s the news now for you? Or is it that she communicates that all three of you are in a relationship?
You aren’t in one cus it wasn’t a discussion from the beginning and you are a year in.
This is you first relationship and you are growing with these experiences, so dragging you into something new and very complex might do damage instead of building you up.
I suggest you talk to your partner about this. This is her cheating on you and now introducing this, which you never had a say about. You aren’t poly and no judgment on those who have poly-relationship, but this is a weird way to take you in and you finding out.
You’re not in a poly relationship. You’re dating a cheater.
If this is a poly relationship then my ex and I were in a poly relationship with her coworker for 4 months until I found out and lost my shit about it. Yeah she was really good at hiding the fact that we were actually in a poly relationship that even her other bf didn’t know we were in one either.
You found out your gf has been cheating on you and thought she could make it okay by labeling it poly. Time to find a new gf