Men who divorced after a long marriage (10+ years) — Why?

16 comments

1. I finally got tired of the abuse.

2. She got so mean when dealing with others that I wouldn’t back her up or defend her. Then she turned on me.

   Wish you weren’t my friend…..

3. Her mental illness, mainly. She was diagnosed schizophrenic with depression. She was in and out of the psych warn about 6 times over a few years towards the end.

   I was unable to to help and the drugs she had to take just had side effects that made things worse.

4. Married young, financial stress, she wanted to stay home and care for our kids. She had an affair. That was the death knell. Married now 20yrs, happy as hell.

5. My wife decided she “didn’t feel like a wife.” What the hell does that mean? I never figured out.

   She could demand and get “child support” payments.

6. 13yrs wed.
   Known her for coming up 20yrs.
   Still best friends… Have two kids together.

   Had small issues over the years that just went unaddressed. Slowly killed the intimacy (for me from her) and that spiralled slowly throughout the rest of the marriage.

   Reached a point where i realised what i actually wanted in life was not what she could provide. Realised i deserved to be loved completely and desired by a woman.

   That was my….”Is this all there is?” Moment

   Fast forward a few yrs and I’m with my perfect match. Living and living how it should be done.
   Still with a great relationship with the ex…

   We just had our time… That’s how i described it

7. She decided to to try other dick

8. Gaslighting

9. Was with my 1st wife 12 years.

   We just argued a lot and we’re incompatible trying to cram square pegs into round holes.

   They say marriage is hard work, which is true…but it shouldn’t be *that friggin* hard!

   We split up, got back together, split up again. It wasn’t meant to be

10. She had affairs and was a shit mom.

11. I realized I wanted kids, just not with her …. left after 13 years. She felt the same btw.

12. Turned out that I preferred men and she liked girls.

13. Takes hours to tell the whole story, but the TL;DR version is that she almost left me for her female AP at year 4, we struggled through and made it through all that. I wanted kids, she kept moving the goalposts for that until I realized it wasn’t going to happen. Began focusing on my career to get fulfillment from life as a result. Made some career moves (over which I gave her veto power) which resulted in living separately for a while and she had agreed to do certain things to move toward the goal of getting us cohabitating again…which she never did. After 2 more years of me making all the effort to keep the relationship strong, she said some things that made me realize she wasn’t going to, so I let it be known that she needed to step up to contribute. I cut my effort by exactly half, with the expectation she would make up the difference and meet me halfway. She didn’t. The tension grew. We went to a second round of counseling (the first was during her affair), during which (in session-not in the heat of an argument) she made the statement that I had been disappointing HER for 15 years. The bond instantly broke. Took another 2 years to get through the divorce process, but it was over the instant she said that.

14. Because she was a sociopath.

15. Because she was a slut

16. Final straw was I caught her lying about taking her birth control. We already had 1 child, weren’t in the best place in our marriage and money was tight.

    We had been having problems for a long time and this was just the final straw.

    I couldn’t trust her and knew then and there it was finally finished. Left that night.

    Started divorce proceedings in about a week after that.