I swear it shouldn’t be this hard to date in Seattle. I’m a dude in his late twenties. I’d like to think I have a fairly decent online dating profile. I try to talk to as many women in public settings as I can as well.
No matter what I do, it seems like everyone I talk to ultimately flakes. I could talk to a girl on Hinge, and within only a few messages or less, she stops replying. I’ve had women approach me in public, they offer me their number, I text them, and they never reply.
I’ve put in so much fucking effort to put myself out there. I try my hardest to engage with women’s profiles and ask questions about things they write. They either message back with absolutely no substance, or they just don’t reply.
I’m at the point where I’ve put in so much effort and received nothing in return that even trying anymore doesn’t seem worth it. I’ve officially given up.
I guess the reason for my post is to gauge whether other people are facing similar situations. I feel like I’m alone in this as everyone I know is engaged or goes on dates fairly consistently through dating apps. I’m just kind of at a loss. I feel like I’m a pretty successful, decently attractive guy, and I find it absolutely baffling that I have had virtually no success dating. Wondering if it’s time for me to move to a new state or just continue to play the numbers game.
6 comments
I mean, it’s such a known phenomenon that the New York times has run articles about it. I’m not sure how you don’t know the other guys in Seattle have this problem.
What is you age? Demographics can make a huge difference.
on a related note: eye contact
Could be in a shopping mall or grocery store, wherever:
If a woman holds my gaze a bit longer than normal, she’s got my attention. If she does it more than once and she’s cute, I’m thinking of ways to approach her, as I see that as both a Clue of her interest level and a Cue that I might choose to react to.
eg. by handing her a slip of paper with my name and texting number on it, while remarking that I find her attractive and would welcome hearing from her if she’d like to text me
I honestly don’t know why people don’t understand this. It’s simple math.
Every last one of these tech companies is AT LEAST 2/3rds male; I’ve seen the wage tax records for the companies in question to back this up.
Now, take that sentence and extrapolate that across every major tech company in the city (and there are loads, including the video game tech & streaming tech & legacy tech & startups, etc). That’s a MASSIVE gender imbalance regardless of how you look at it.
This is the phenomenon has been there for a long time and I’ve known of companies that tell guys to “import their girlfriends” from other cities/countries because the gender imbalance is so skewed. I’ve known of this for at least 2 decades. Seattle has never been a town flush with ladies (read about the Mercer Girls while you are at it), but nowadays it’s very gender skewed.
Even as a queer woman it’s difficult in Seattle. My friend from up there referred to it as the infamous Seattle freeze. When we hung out with their friends I was fine. Everyone was really friendly. When we went anywhere else it was like we were invisible.
It’s a tech hub. Girls just have way more high status guys to choose from.
Eithet deal with it or move.