A couple months back, my boyfriend and I went on a work trip to San Diego for a couple weeks. At some point during our stay there, one of his best friends came clean to me about the lies he told me of his previous relationships. He’s lied to me about sleeping with his ex gf’s best friend. Of course, I confronted him and afterwards he ended up blocking my number for a couple days. I didn’t know who he was with or where he was.
Fast forward to today, we’re great. He has never blocked me since then. He tells me where he’s going and who he’s with out of respect for our relationship. He’s finally being honest with me in regards to his feelings and his past. But for some odd reason, I can’t help but think to myself that he cheated on me those couple days he blocked me back in San Diego. On top of it all, he has entertained a girl before during our relationship when she clearly told him that she had feelings for him.
He’s lied so many times and has entertained someone before, it’s normal for me to assume that he’s cheated on me right? I really need some advice here because I’m so paranoid right now. I’ve asked him multiple times if he’s slept with anyone during that time period and he denied it every single time. I’m supposed to get married to him the beginning of next year but I can’t keep thinking this way.
3 comments
Your concerns are fair given the past history. Did you discuss the two days that you were blocked with him? Did you ask him if he cheated/hooked up with anyone during those two days?
It’s not good for your mental health or the relationship for you to carry those unaddressed suspicions forward. And let-s be honest: you can’t have a relationship in just about any capacity without trust.
You probably should have addressed the two day episode when it happened. Now you will be revisiting that moment in a period where things are “great”. Not easy to do. However I think you need closure or you will continue to be burdened with this.
Your concerns are fair given the past history. Did you discuss the two days that you were blocked with him? Did you ask him if he cheated/hooked up with anyone during those two days?
It’s not good for your mental health or the relationship for you to carry those unaddressed suspicions forward. And let-s be honest: you can’t have a relationship in just about any capacity without trust.
You probably should have addressed the two day episode when it happened. Now you will be revisiting that moment in a period where things are “great”. Not easy to do. However I think you need closure or you will continue to be burdened with this.
The only thing you can really do is just accept he didn’t cheat or choose to hold onto those feelings forever. They’ll eventually ground you down into being more paranoid. Did you ask why he blocked you during that time?
He may have cheated on his ex, but things could have been an entirely different situation with that girl over you. Not that it made cheating okay, but he’s obviously ashamed of it if he never told you about that part of his past.