Hey I’m a 24 year old male. Im wanting to make new female friends but I’m having issues. Every time I try I get socially awkward and shutdown. I have anxiety which doesn’t help. I also had a rough upbringing so I’m really self conscious about a lot of things. It’s not at all to do with sexual activity, I genuinely just want a female friend. How do I not be like this?
3 comments
Get a job in customer service or retail, especially at stores popular with women, or at least a gender neutral store like a department store. I was an awkward, shy teenager and working retail helped me so much at getting better at talking to people. You have a safe subject and a script you can stick to and then once you become more confident, you can branch out a bit more. The social skills ans confidence you get from your job will transfer over to your social life.
If you already have a career and can’t commit to a part time job, find a place to volunteer that involves talking to the public.
Have you talked to a doctor? Some anti-anxiety medication might be helpful for you.
Have you had female relationships previously?
Imo, the best way to build confidence and social comfortability is to work on yourself. To me This means learning to love yourself, pursue your passions, build skills, try to be the person you want to be. I have seen many men and women flourish socially by being their authentic selves and nurturing those aspects of themselves. Ask yourself:
What are my passions?
What do I wanna be better at?
What kind of person do I want to attract?
What kind of person do I wanna be to that someone?
Small things like routine and discipline can help build confidence. Trying to hit the gym a few days a week, going for hikes, trying to learn to play an instrument or second language. All this stuff overtime will become something to be proud of, and it will help make you interesting to other people as a side effect. And you will hopefully meet other ppl who share those interests along the way.
View women as just like you, with all the complexities of emotion, anxiety, uncertainty, interests and passions too. Don’t try to crack some code of how to take to women, sure there’s a hurdle of awkwardness talking to someone who’s attractive, but try to understand they have just as many quirks and weirdo thoughts goin too. Good luck amigo