26(F)
Me and my boyfriend have started having sex from past 6months.we have had it for around 5 to 6 times.I have never had my orgasm till now.we involve in both oral and penetrative sex but still I am not able to reach orgasm.
I can masturbate (like I rub my cliotoris)and have it.
I even can’t have orgasm by fingering myself.I only get it when I rub my clitoris.
Every time we have sex my boyfriend asks me about my orgasm and when I tell no he feels bad that he is not able to make me cum.
I am planning to lie him from next time.
What I am experiencing is normal?
What could be the problem?
Is there anything I can do?
6 comments
5 to 6 times in 6 months isn’t necessary a ton of sex. Maybe it’s experience? You two just need to figure out what gets you to that point. You’re not the first or last woman to be with a guy who hasn’t made her have an orgasm.
Most women can’t have orgasm just from penetration, that perfectly normal. Have your boyfriend look up more tips for doing oral on you and how to better involve fingers, yiu may need him to eat you out for a long time before you can orgasm from it.
Don’t lie to him about being satisfied, you will feel guilty and your sex life will never improve. If he can’t make you orgasm himself even with better oral then maybe get a vibrator or clit massager that he can use on you.
Rub your clit whilst having sex
Don’t lie to him! I know you want to protect his ego, but lying is not what you want to do. If you lie once you’ll feel like you need to lie next time. And then next time. And then 2 years go by, you’re sexually frustrated and you’ll have to tell him he’s never made you orgasm and you’ve been lying to him for 2 years. Don’t do it.
>I even can’t have orgasm by fingering myself.
This is really normal. Fingering yourself doesn’t work that well and it’s common to feel nothing from internal stimulation anyway.
You can get yourself off, so show him how you do it.
Don’t lie about it! It won’t help him and it won’t help you. Get him to accept that with good grace and to not react negatively to being told that you don’t. This is most important. He needs to get on-board with it and be philosophical and pragmatic about it.
What do you feel are the main issues? IS it not orgasming from PiV sex? If it is, forget about it, 70%+ of women state they don’t orgasm from PiV sex. Your sex organs aren’t structured to facilitate that so the women who do can consider themselves to be very lucky. Your clitoris surrounds the opening of your vagina, not far beneath the surface of your labia. Your clitoris tip, is just that, the tip, the visible part of the clitoris beneath the clitoral hood. Even your G-spot is part of the clitoris that lies close the surface of the inside of your vagina. All this is well known.
It’s important that you create the mindset for yourself that you’re not trying to satisfy someone else, rather than yourself, because if you can’t you can’t focus on what is important to the process ie your experience. You don’t want to be pressured in terms of performance expectations of either him or you or be pressured into orgasming within a certain time span.
I would encourage you both to develop a “Let’s see what happens” attitude to it, just experimenting with different techniques to see if and how you experience different sensations. Do you think you can explain to him adequately what works for you when you masturbate to orgasm without feeling awkward or self-conscious about it? If you do feel awkward I think you just have to consciously think that you should be able to do it, that in this day and age it’s ridiculous that you should feel inhibited in any way from being as candid as you need or want to be.
Don’t be coy or hesitant about it. Be as detailed and explicit as you feel necessary, right down to the smallest detail, such as whether you need direct clitoral stimulation or you need to avoid it. Describe to him in detail what your experience of a good masturbation session is, from beginning to end. Remember, this is as much for his benefit as it is for you. This is about achieving another level of maturity and confidence. Know what you need and want and be bold about it.
Don’t lie. Try guiding his hand and show him how you do it.
Still might now worn though because your headspace may be different.
In masterbation you only got to think about yourself which makes it easier to think about what you may want to.
Also, he doesn’t need to ask everytime. I’m sure when y’all get there you’ll tell him that was great, I like how you did this, etc.
I will say this though, even as a guy, I can have a hell of a time without getting O. Getting O isn’t the sole point. He may think you getting 0 out of it but you still getting something out of it