I find it strange when someone I newly meet asks me where I work on the same day. Not that I’m a secret FBI agent and don’t wanna reveal my true identity, but I personally avoid asking where someone works until I get to know them more. I feel it’s too personal. It’s not like asking what school or uni you go to.
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Why would that be too personal? You likely work for 8 hours every day of your life, they’re just asking where you spend the majority of your day
I would ask people what they do, maybe not where they work. Just part of getting to know them.
What you do for work is a pretty important getting to know you question for a lot of people because it often tells you about some of their interests, and also about their overall schedule.
Not necessarily an exact address/company or anything, but a general “field” of employment can go a long way in getting to know a person better. A chef, a banker, a police officer and an ice road trucker are all going to have vastly different life experiences and likely have different interests outside of work as well.
I wouldn’t consider that a personal question at all. It’s a massive part of your life and an obvious conversation starter.
This sounds like something a secret FBI agent who doesn’t want to reveal their true identity would say
All I’m gonna say is I get it. I don’t feel comfortable being asked that question so I always just change the subject or tell them I can’t talk about it.
i don’t tell people where i work
You can say, “I work in the _____ industry,” if you prefer to keep it vague.
I’ve been in situations like this where it’s very clear that they’re trying to gauge how much money or status I have. And for those reasons, I don’t like sharing. I just don’t like when I get the vibe that somebody needs to know your line of work to inform themselves on how to treat you. Maybe I’m overthinking it.
Edit: Spelling
I don’t think they were trying to judge you by asking for your profession. It’s like they didn’t know you, and couldn’t figure anything interesting to ask.
I usually ask people this but I don’t mind if they express that they’d rather keep that to themselves. Whatever works for you, ya know
I work at a local hospital and whenever I mention it, people get such a disgusted look then recount their tales of waiting in the ER for hours, dealing with billing/customer service, the CEO and her appearing in pro vaccination commercial, etc.
I used to live in a big city- and there it was literally the first thing you talk about.
I’m in a new city, not as big and very laid back attitude. I’ve made some awesome friends in the year I’ve been here and I swear I don’t know (or care) where most of them work.
So I guess it just depends on where you live and who you end up socializing woth
It’s a regional thing. Very common in most western countries and it’s just small talk, nobody really cares or judges THAT much, but it’s considered very rude in other areas.
In socio-linguistic studies, it is often considered to be a question that seeks to get a sense of your social class and status.
Yeah, your occupation is a great conversation starter. Just like if you’re in college people will ask what you are studying.
Some people actually enjoy what they do for a living and they won’t mind. I wouldn’t ask where do you work but what do you do for a living.
Yeah and as an adult I’ve realized it is a way for people to flex their status, or judge others on theirs more than anything. Only in a socially acceptable way
It’s a personal question for me, but it depends who is asking, too. My social media just says “Pastry Chef” unless you go to my Instagram, which is all professional focused. I keep odd hours, and I’m pretty distinctive, and it’s just not your business where to find me unless you’re coming to *do business*.
F.O.R.D. – It’s literally in the acronym for meeting new people. FAMILY-OCCUPATION-RECREATION-DREAMS. Those are the four easiest ways to start a conversation with someone you don’t know. Usually it’s the first one brought up.
Can’t say I’ve ever heard of anyone who thought discussing work was overly personal… It’s literally one of the most generic and neutral conversation starters out there. Don’t think I’ve ever made a new friend and not discussed work within the first few hours of knowing them.
I ask that but only if it feels right or looks like they are comfortable with that (ex: they moved due to work). If it is people you are going to see occasionally, wprk topic always comes up eventually.
Because i have a nice job that i like, i feel sometimes can get akward if the other person has a less interesting job. That’s partly because I don’t always bring it up, to avoid looking like I’m showing off.
Leil Lowndes reckons you should never ask people what they do for work, but ask “How do you spend most of your time”. Honestly, I was shocked as to how much better this is, as it gives people a way to talk about work or not.
All I do is work, what else is there to talk about?
Yes it’s rude
It’s just the easiest way to start a conversation. And I think it’s the same as asking which school or uni you go to. It’s just an easy way to get to know someone since it’s something they spend most of their time doing. I feel like every time I have a conversation with a new person that’s the first question that people ask.
I’ve found the FORD (Family, occupation, recreation, dreams) pattern has helped me immensely in breaking the ice, and occupation issecond after the arguably more personal Family topic.
It’s common. I’ve found that it’s more common in professional crowds than arty crowds. I’ve had people take offense when I ask them this, maybe because they’ve been judged before and are afraid I’m trying to do the same. I’ve had people judge me or dismiss me for my occupation, so I understand being annoyed by this question. I now just don’t care; this is what I do, and no I don’t own the company/industry, so please don’t use this as the forum to vent your frustrations with said company/industry. If someone is rude about it I just stop talking to them and move onto the next person.
When I ask a person what they do for a living I’m honestly going for the lowest hanging fruit ito conversation topics, and it’s a nice way to dig deeper into who a person is and where their passions lie. And I’m taking notes in case I ever want to change industries in future.