Throw-Away, he knows my acc.
So I’m( 30f) dating someone(45m) for 2 months now and idk if I’m back in a toxic relationship or not.
My back story is that I have been with a narcissist for 6 years and with someone for 1,5 years.
Ppl who have been in a relationship with one probably know the struggle of trusting your own instinct after being gaslit for years.
So he is nice, he seems caring. Asks alot about my mental health. We do alot of activities together.
In the beginning after our first weekend he dropped some comments about my body (“oh, I’m so proud of you, that you lost over 60 pounds, I wonder if your legs will get any slimmer in the future” or after he hurt me during Sex “Yeah probably your labia, I never had a woman with inner labia”) It felt like negging to me because he has the habit of commenting alot of negative stuff like “Oh you have alot of scars” or “Yeah your nails grew out alot)
He says he means no harm when I confronted him,he just notices.
Since then I over analyzing everything. We talked about these comments alot and I told him why it was really hurtful. He tried assuring me that he likes me regardless but it has a bitter taste. Because why would sou say something like that if you can’t be bothered?
I already met his 2 children, his parents and other family. In my experience I feel it’s fairly quick and I’m scared that he just wants to give me a false feeling of security by meeting his family and friends so I get attached more easily to later on start his manipulation. On top alot of questions about my health. When he’s worried about me when I’m having a bad day I feel like it’s just to bamboozle me.
Please, I need advice. I know I have to work on myself and my trauma and I am way better than I was 6 years ago after the break up.
Please be civil, I wanna learn and just be happy.
I don’t want to go back to a hell ride of a relationship.