To elaborate on the title, I’ve been on a lifelong journey towards being more social and outgoing despite strongly leaning towards the opposite. I’m autistic and have always been extremely reserved and distrustful of people, which makes it very hard for people to take a liking to me. I’m aware of this wall I’ve built up between me and the world but it’s never been so glaringly obvious to me until I started working in a client-facing job which requires me to make connections, ask questions and build trust. I’ve received plenty of good-natured feedback from my boss, who I actually like a lot, but it’s very difficult for me to implement things that are so against my nature.
I know I shouldn’t have to be someone I’m not, but this is something that has always hindered me and caused people to pass me up for great opportunities. I spend many hours watching reality television to try and mimic the tone and body language of people I perceive as confident but that only gets me so far. How can I be more open and personable?
3 comments
RemindMe! 2 days
As long as you still feel like people in general possess a threat/can’t be trusted, you can only fake openness. Those who openly share, don’t fear other people. Usually because they’re secure in who they are as a person and have a strong set of personal boundaries. They don’t have to doubt and second guess themselves. (Not to be confused with people who overshare and constantly impose themselves, that’s a different set of issues)
I’m still working on it myself. It’s a process. But it’s moving along nicely into right direction.
I find this post pretty relatable, OP. I think others probly find me too quiet/guarded, but really I just don’t know how to be “normal.” I try to remind myself not to censor myself as much, and in the right company, I actually enjoy talking about my insecurities and telling unflattering stories