I [18M] have been in college for about a month now and so far it’s been a bittersweet experience. One of the issues I’m facing right now is roomating with a complete stranger, recently I’ve noticed changes in my roomates’ behavior toward me. At first we were getting to know each other and were very friendly toward one another. It felt like we were in the process of becoming friends since we were getting along so well. He avoids me now and is acting cold towards me. He comes to the dorm at around 12 or 1 in the morning and ignores me whenever I try to talk to him now. I’m starting to think that it may be because of something I said or did as I’m trying to self reflect on possible reasons why he may be mad at me. I’m not a confrontational person or anything, and I really don’t know who this guy is or what he’s capable of. But, I shouldn’t feel uncomfortable in my own dorm room. I’m really stuck on what to do next. I’m literally out in the halls sitting on the couch of the lobby instead of laying down in bed at 2 in the morning as I type this. What should I do?
2 comments
I’ll talk from my experience, meaning it’s not necessarily the tips you need to follow.
I’m also not a confrontational person AT ALL. I hate arguments with passion and will avoid them as I can, but sometimes you have to try to talk to people. It doesn’t mean you’re gonna argue (as my bf says, two people don’t argue if one of them doesn’t want to) just try to do it carefully.
You can search some tips to calm yourself in case the conversation heats up, or to avoid it, but communication it’s important. Even more if you’re not comfortable at your own dorm. Don’t blame him, but also PLEASE don’t blame yourself.
Maybe (if it helps) you could search some questions too to find the root of the problem and see if you both can fix it.
If communication fails, which wouldn’t be your fault, try to change your dorm. Put yourself and your wellness first. At least you tried and that’s enough, I promise.
Be careful if he tries to blame you. You could’ve made some mistakes, that’s normal, but he was the one that ignored you in first place. It’s not fair that you have to deal with someone else’s lack of emotional responsibility.
And I think that’s all. I wish I could do a little more to help you. I know your situation and I know it’s uncomfortable. I send you a big hug and the best of lucks❤️🩹 And remember this was from my personal experience. You don’t have to follow it, but if you do, I hope it helps!
I’m assuming your roommate is also a freshman? Maybe having a roommate takes a bit of adjustment for him. Maybe he is starting to realize he would much rather have a room to himself. Introversion is very common. People need some time alone to recharge their social battery. If that’s the case, it’s not your fault.