Every woman I have been with has not been a fan of riding, and would only do it sometimes if I asked. And when they would they’d last less than 2 min before getting really lazy about it or asking to switch. So I kinda stopped asking because i didn’t like getting rejected about it mid sex and it’s not worth it to have to change positions twice in minute. I get that they are on top and doing most of the work but I’m basically always on top and doing all of the work otherwise usually I’m covered in sweat after sex and I’m not complaining about being tired.
My main frustration here comes from a recent experience where I was with some of my partners friends and they were a little buzzed and teasing me and my partner and mentioned how she said that I was sometimes a little lazy about sex and because I cut it short sometimes after a long day or if it’s late. Which is true but annoyed me because if my partner wants to have good sex maybe she could take some initiative and take matters into her own hands?
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> Which is true but annoyed me because if my partner wants to have good sex maybe she could take some initiative and take matters into her own hands?
Yes.
But you need to tell her that, not us.
P.S.:
> I was with some of my partners friends and they were a little buzzed and teasing me and my partner and mentioned how she said that I was sometimes a little lazy about sex and because I cut it short sometimes after a long day or if it’s late
I would not tolerate this shit at all.
Female perspective here: yes, riding is hard.
I’ve been in the “traditionally male” position in missionary when pegging my partner so I know that thrusting on top can definitely wear you out after a while. But in my opinion it is not as exhausting as riding, because you can brace yourself with your arms. When you’re riding someone’s dick, you’re really just propelling yourself up and down with your legs, and those mini squats get exhausting wayyyyy faster. Riding is also often not as stimulating for a woman because we can’t go as fast as a man can thrust, and it doesn’t stimulate our clit, so it’s usually just a show for the guy.
So, a lot of women avoid riding altogether for that reason. Others avoid it because of the stigma against female dominance, or because they’re worried about what they look like from below (you’d be surprised how common this is as an insecurity). But some women love riding!
Instead of stewing in silence, maybe try to incorporate riding when you’re getting down on the couch? I find riding my guy is way easier on a sofa where I can brace one leg on the ground. Or maybe see if the Amazon position works for you.
I love riding lol I can do it up to ten minutes or more If I’m really into.
My wife loves riding and so do I. She uses her hand or a vibe to get herself off while doing it. That results in my favorite feeling, her coming on my dick. Bliss!
Personally, I find the act of “riding” as depicted in porn (where the girl is squatting over me and thrusting up and down) to be a horrible horrible experience.
When my wife “rides” me, she kneels and literally sits on my cock and then grinds back and forth. It is not tiring for her and it feels fucking fantastic to me.
I love riding. I used to be a little insecure at first wondering what the view from below is, and it is a workout for us after a while, but practice helps with that! Just communicate with her!
I LOVE riding when my partner is in a 120 degree angle; so slightly laying back. Because.. my clit is rubbing on him, it’s not as tiring on the legs, he’s hitting just the right spot, my titties are in his face, it’s easy for us to lock eyes and say nasty things into each other’s ears, and most importantly we’re both able to cum in this position. Give it a go!
I can literally cum in too mins riding on my bf. I get insecure that I never do it right though 🙃
I ride my bf and it’s not too difficult for me. You just get tired out faster. And I cum alot quicker than he does when I’m being fucked, so if I want him to finish first before we’re done I’ve got to adjust speed and angle a whole bunch so he doesn’t hit the spot just right so soon
It depends on if she can orgasm from it. If it’s not getting her to orgasm, then she is just doing the work for your pleasure. Whereas when a man is thrusting on top he is generally going to orgasm from that. OP, does your gf normally orgasm during intercourse?
For me yes, I have big/more muscular legs- so even in the kneeling position during riding, my legs cramp up a lot after 10 minutes
The squatting position is also very hard, but mostly because of my squishy mattress I kinda sink into it
It’s not the physical exertion, it’s that it doesn’t feel good, so it’s hard to get into it. For me, it is almost always painful and on top of that, I am insecure about how I look from that angle. So this fantasy guys have about a woman on top confidently losing herself in pleasure and using him for her orgasm while he lies back just doesn’t translate for me. At best I can play along, but it feels awful and it’s a lot of work for something that isn’t enjoyable.
We got bad knees fr lol if you can assist so we can go longer that would help
Yes, it’s hard. You can try it yourself lol. It takes a lot of thigh muscle, and the motion isn’t as quick and easy as a pelvic thrust. You have the long knee angle plus body weight, which requires more energy. It also requires a lot of control- you can’t go up to far, can’t bend the penis awkwardly (especially in reverse!) going too fast can make you slip up. It’s a relatively limited amount of movement for that long knee angle and I find full squats to be a much easier movement. The vagina is also positioned differently than the penis on the body, which arguably makes it more difficult to do a thrusting movement.
That being said, both me and my husband enjoy it and use it regularly. It took me a long time to figure out HOW to move efficiently, and how to vary the movements, which helps with stamina. F you think about pelvic thrusting, you can switch muscle groups pretty easily, from just squeezing your butt muscles to using legs, back, or even jus doing a full-body rock. This allows you to change it up if one muscle group gets tired, and I had to figure out how to do this- up and down and grinding are common, but I also switch between being upright and laying down on my husband, I do back and forth thrusting movement, and also a sort of twerking movement.
Almost every girl I’ve been with has enjoyed cowgirl. As others have said, squatting/whatever you see in porn is more difficult, as it would be for a guy squatting and fucking.
There are options women can do to make riding easier, but it sounds like your girl isn’t a very good partner regardless. *thumbs down for her talking shit to your friends*
As already mentioned, bouncing up and down like a pogo stick takes a lot of energy and more people don’t find this as pleasurable as porn implies. If someone really likes this, a squatting position with planted feet is the hardest, but it puts on a nice show. Dropping to her knees takes less work. I find it is easier to keep going if I place my legs on top of his in a position similar to [this](https://www.sex.com/pin/60965775-riding-him/). It works different muscles so I can keep cycling between positions and go longer. She would probably enjoy being on top more if she was grinding her clit instead of stroking up and down, but other people already addressed this.
I wholeheartedly agree with the advice to sit up more (couch, against headboard, etc.). A couch gives her a place to put her arms to carry some of the weight or help balance. Getting a foot on the ground provides more stamina too. Along that note, have her on your lap while facing away. She can either lay back against you (gives great access for clit stimulation, but the thrusting is typically reduced) or lean forward to push back onto you. This can be great if you are on the edge of a bed and she can brace against a wall or on the coffee table if on the couch. You could also try starting from doggy style and then sitting back on your heels. This drops you lower and can make it easier for her to rock back onto you and gives more clit stimulation than standard doggy. Grab her hips and pull her back. Moving forward and backwards on all fours is easier than fighting gravity by going up and down. Holding her hips at the same time can trigger her to still feel like she is in the submissive role despite being the one moving. Some women like this feeling of being fucked while others prefer being in control if they are on top.
Before complaining she is being too lazy, try doing some of these positions yourself. See how much leg energy it takes. It will give you a better basis for knowing if she is just being lazy or if it is a hell of a leg day workout.
Sometimes I get embarrassed by how quickly I get wore out being on top :/
Having to lift your entire body straight up and down using just your legs like a squat vs thrusting your hips in a forward/down diagonal while being supported by both arms and legs seem like very different tasks with the latter being much tiring. Try doing a riding motion on your own and see how long you can last, walk a mile in the other person’s shoes before judging.
Get in a low squat and bounce. Now put your knees down and grind. Major difference, I don’t like to “bounce” on dick
Not me thinking this was from my horse-riding subreddit 😂
Maybe it’s because I’m plus size, but the only way I’ll ride is straddling Dude’s lap, knees on either side of his hips, and I am sitting on his dick. The size of his belly determines if I can lean forward a little, either brace myself on either side of his head or a headboard, and grind on that dick. I can cum a lot when that happens. I actually don’t like it when Dude tries to help, I just need him to sit back, give input, and enjoy the ride while I do my thing.
Riding is a totally different type of exercise than a man being on top and the penetration can be too deep to the point of almost being painful. If my husband wants me to do the work, we both prefer doggy and I do all of the movement.
For most of us women, it can be painful especially if u are lying on your back and the woman is on tip. It kills our joints (where the thigh meets the hips). I suggest liberator furniture and wedges if you have a decent income to afford it. They help alot!
just bearhug em when they get tired on top and pump away. I find my partner finds the motivation to ride again after this lmao. Rinse and repeat.
From my experience, when I’m on top, there are two types of guys- 1) They let me go at my own pace, move how I want to move, and it’s a huge turn-on for him. These guys usually use their hands or mouth in ways they know I like, and they cum from this position also. 2) They try to take over the motion or need shallow strokes to cum, so it ends up being all about him. This guy tries to fuck me from below and doesn’t offer me anything fun, like grabbing my tits.
If you’re the 2nd guy, yeah she will say she’s “tired” but she’s just tired of fighting you to have an orgasm.
There are several factors, but one I haven’t seen mentioned here is the couple’s proportions. For example, my ex was way taller and bigger than me, his hips were too large for me to comfortably straddle on top of him and move properly. Besides, he enjoyed having me jump up and down so it wasn’t the most pleasant sensation for me either. On the other hand, my current partner is very thin and I can comfortably thrust on him as long as we like
I can run that position for a good 35 minutes straight. Yet any woman I’ve ever met can do about 3 minutes tops.
Ive just accepted it as part of the game. But I try to grab their hips and pull them up and down that allows my arms to do some of the work then I can extend their life to a good 10 minutes.
I’m a small woman which means my hips are not near as wide as any partner I’ve ever had. I’ve tried both kneeling & squatting to ride & both are really tiring because I’m having to do it at such a wide angle. The easiest way for me is if he puts his knees up & I lean back & brace myself on them, but that isn’t a very good angle. I’ll absolutely still do it but it is very tiring. I’d much rather help him out by thrusting my hips to meet him in a different position
If you want “in and out” penetration while she’s on top, then yes, it’s much harder. You’re moving up and down, it’s happening in your thighs.
Due to the mechanics, when the man is on top, it’s an entirely different movement. It’s pushing back and forth and the power comes from the glutes.
Try it. Sit on your knees and put a pillow between your legs (imagine it’s a person so you can’t pinch their body by putting your weight on them). Your knees should be, at least, shoulder width apart – but usually more since men are often bigger than women. And then bounce up and down. See how long you can do it. Challenge mode: do it on an unstable surface like a bed.
If you’re looking for just grinding, with no in and out penetration, then yeah it’s a bit easier.
I know everything has probably been said here but something is like to add is that I love being on top and have great stamina but I have issues with my boobs. When you have big titties like me the bouncing can be painful.
It is difficult, even when you like it.
Try it. Shape something the size of your body and get in position over it. Not blankets or pillows that just squish, roll up towels nice and tight so they’re firm, or whatever you have. Set a timer. And start riding. Not thrusting, but moving up and down. No hands. And make sure you’re actually getting some air, like you’d actually be moving up and down a cock. Report back your findings.
the up and down thing is really hard and doesn’t feel super great. grinding feels better, it hits the spots it needs to and feels good for the girl. riding is especially hard if you’re chubby though
I have a hard time riding because it makes me cum really quickly and I get all shakey and twitchy. It’s like when you let the air out of a balloon or see the inflatable dancing man outside of car dealerships.
One guy thought I was having a seizure and that zapped any self confidence I had about riding.
I like riding. It’s the fastest way for me to cum. But after that I’m useless. I can’t get my guy to cum because he really needs me to pound and I can’t do it that hard.
It took me a long time to actually successfully do it. Weird probably, I know. I could never do the whole squatting thing and 100% would have to tap out but grinding/going up and down while on my knees isn’t a problem and I can do it for quite a while tbh.
If I am getting tired my SO will do some of the work from underneath while I take a “break” and don’t switch out of the position.
I will add: it doesn’t feel that great for me which could also be why they don’t enjoy it.
Ultimately you have to have this convo with your partner, not us. Figure out what you can both do to be happier in the bedroom.
If you’re whisking cake batter, are you moving the whisk or the bowl?
A penis sticks out on the front of the body, making it far easier to manipulate than a hole between the legs.
It’s a battle of who’s gonna be lazy. Girls just want to lay there and get off. Same with guys. My wife never rides me but then again, I like to tear it up! Win win
Yes.
The movements that we have to do are significantly trickier than just thrusting back and forth. It requires some hip isolation skills and leg strength. Put a pillow under you and get on top of it and try to stimulate riding. Plus, (at least for me) the movements that feel good for me, do nothing for him, and viceversa.
First of all, which kind of riding do you mean? Is she sitting and grinding back and forth or is she actually squatting and going up and down? Because the ladder one is very tiring and gets exhausting quickly, I would like to see you doing a squad pulse that low for multiple minutes without pain or exhaustion.
Second, she might actually be in pain. Even with a good anatomic compatibility it sometimes just hurts.
Thrid, her behavior about it is just unacceptable.
Can i ask something? How do you know women are getting lazy while riding? Do you know how hard it is? And how bad our leg muscles hurts while riding and after?
Try it yourself and you’ll know
I didn’t like riding before my current boyfriend, because it was always a horrible experience before….. so maybe it’s not the girls you’re seeing who have an issue. 👀👀👀
I’m weird that way. I LOVE porn where the woman rides a man sitting on a chair or sofa or whatever and this position is always part of the scenario, when I’m fantasizing.
BUT actually doing it in real life? Nah, it doesn’t do much for me. I don’t feel much in that position. The arousal of it is great in the first minute because it turns me on, but then I don’t have the patience/endurance because sexually it doesn’t feel as great as it is in my mind.
How many squats can you do before you stop? They might make it look easy on the internet, but those girls must work out a lot to do that.
What if your GF asks you for a standing 69? You got the strength for that?
Im a girl and I like it and do it for a while. I change rythms and the position of my body a few times so it feels different every few mins 🤷🏻♀️ I always ask or try to be on top at least once.
But is true that being on top as a woman is VERY tyring. The movements and force you need is done only with your thighs and is a movement that after a few seconds is already making you tired.
Your mattress/ surface matters a ton. Memory foam absorbs all bounce and is exhausting, a hard surface still takes leg strength, but a spring mattress is easier because you just add a little effort to keep up the momentum. maybe try sitting in a chair so she can grab the back of it and use her arms too. And my wife lasts longer when I help push her hips up with my arms or bouncing my own hips by clenching my butt.
Yes, it’s hard bc your legs are separated and you rely heavily on the muscles of your inner thighs, even when on your knees. I’m good for about 10-15 minutes of that as long as I’m kneeling.
However, I will provide some additional info on that. I ride my horse at least 3x a week usually. When I was riding less regularly, I got tired a lot quicker. I don’t think it would be fair to expect someone who didn’t regularly use that muscle set to be able to do 10-15 without being exhausted.
Important to remember that most men have a lot more upper body strength than women. It’s normal for a woman to not be able to be on top as long as a guy can.