How can I find a boyfriend if I’m quiet and shy?

6 comments

1. 2 options

   1st option: work on being able to hold a convo, you don’t need to be super competitive with other women, but you absolutely need to be able to hold a conversation.

   For this, if you have normal conversations with men you’re not interested in first work on translating this to the things you do with men you do see as ‘boyfriend material’. You’re in the position of not *needing* to be the pursuer, so your interest is going to get picked up on at some point especially if you have regular conversations with them.

   If you don’t have these relationships work on getting them, don’t aim at a relationship aim at a buddy and see how you feel after a bit.

   2nd option: be the pursuer. It’ll be easy after a bit but you’ve got to handle rejection doing this which i can tell you as a dude sucks, but sucks less each time. don’t build up anything in your head doing this otherwise it’ll suck more. Also with this, as a guy I can’t how to navigate this, but definitely stay safe and go for causal ideally daytime dates first especially if you’re tindering or dating app-ing in general.

   I can say for certain no guys are used to being asked out and 9/10 times will be flattered at the very least.

   But also people I personally know have read way to far into being asked out and i had to talk them back from being clingy/creepy thinking a date was a profession of deep love so be prepared to shut that down lol.

   Also ask your friends if they’ve got someone they could set you up with. Be casual, be upfront about your experience, but maybe in a casual ‘I’m fresh in the dating scene way’ not in a ‘ive literally never dated anyone before’ way. Catching up is super easy, it’s not something that takes years to figure out once you start. It’s just finding out what you are looking for and how to communicate/select for that.

   Edit: I’d highly recommend going on a ‘friedn date with people as well as romantic dates. Being able to sit with someone one on one talk and move through conversations’ high points and dead spots are super helpful, and translate really well to romantic dating ime.

2. Don’t go up to random guys pls, find a meetup group or hobby group so that you at least have something in common. Best of luck 🙂

3. You sound like a female me lol. I suspect there’s a bunch of lonely introverts not finding dates all over the world… sigh

4. Approach them. You have been waiting for luck to find its way to you. You’ve waited long enough. Time to pursue your luck.

5. I feel the same and i am a girl too. Maybe take a deep breath and start a conversation about something general. You don’t have to succeed with the first time. Baby steps is how i try to do it. I know it’s hard but slowly you will get more confident

6. Try making friendly conversations with people and asking them about their lives or their day. Do this not only with people you are attracted to but other people at work, too. Being casual friends with people makes it easier to socialize and eventually you’ll end up finding someone like that cashier that you have a bit of chemistry with. When that chemistry happens, talk to them more often about friendly stuff, be smiley, laugh a bit. Have fun with your interactions and try not to worry about whether or not they will become “serious”, as hard as that is sometimes.