I have been dating this man for 4 months now. We had sex after 4-5 dates. We always meet up, go out to dinner, watch a movie and then have sex.
I always drive to his place because I still live with my family (I am in the process of moving out now).
Furthermore, I always drive to his house late at night. It could be 7pm and I’ll leave by 2am after having sex.
We don’t ALWAYS have sex. We have taken a weekend getaway trip together. We always text a lot and enjoy our time together.
However. I am starting to see that from other peoples perspectives, this may seem low effort from him and like I am only being used for sex.
Am I being used because we mainly do our dates at home? Even though we go out for dinner? Or because I am always driving to his place, especially super late at night? I never sleep over either. I would like to but I never get offered to sleep over even when I’m at his place till 3-4am.
He imitates most texting. He does apologize that we don’t go out often and says that there’s not much to do in the city we live. He always states he is scared I’ll get bored of him.
He hasn’t made the relationship official yet and we see each other 2-3 times a week.
Am I actually just in a situationship with no self respect??
4 comments
Just ask him where this is going
FOUR MONTHS and see each other multiple times a week, and you aren’t official? Seems like at this point, you should be although it’s not just on him to “make it official,” you need to speak up too
Good relationships need great communication. I think you need to ask yourself why you haven’t asked him if you can stay over and why you are waiting to be invited. Also ask yourself why you haven’t asked for exclusivity yet and think about whats holding you back. You owe both of you a good face to face conversation around hopes for the future and expectations. Please do not do this over text message.
I don’t see any major red flags based off what you said. I think it just sounds like you guys aren’t communicating that well regarding your relationship so I’d bring it up.
If he wasn’t texting much or it was mostly you texting that would be a red flag. And I don’t think you driving to his place at 7pm is a huge deal either especially since you don’t live alone and it’s not like he’s asking you to come over at 10pm. You should try to open up the communication and see what happens. I think that’s the only way to know for sure but I wouldn’t be too concerned about it.