My [23M] girlfriend [22] needs constant reassurance

Yo,

I’m coming up on my 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend. We don’t live together as she is in the suburbs and I’m in the city. It was hard seeing each other until about a month ago as she got a car and we can see each other easily now.

So far, the only ‘issue’ I can even think of is her somewhat constant need of reassurance and kinda letting people run over her.

She lives with a roommate who she knew as a childhood friend when she lived in Japan before coming to the States. Her roommate openly told her that she has attachment issues which I think was a huge red flag to move in with her.

Anywho, this roommate of hers pretty much treats her like shit and damn near dictates her day for her. She seems to try and make sure everyday my girlfriend has to dedicate time to her. She even made a list of all the wrong things she doesn’t like my girlfriend doing like being on the phone outside her room (like what the actual fuck) and makes her go out for coffee with her every Sunday morning to basically go over what my girlfriend has done wrong in the week. I know it’s one sided because for some reason my girl will not stand up for herself.

Besides this, my girlfriend has a bad habit of not saying no to people. Because of this, the weekends, when we have time to actually see each other is cut short since she has to tend to other people. Obviously she has her own life and I respect that and I can’t be selfish and take all her time, but some of the stuff she agrees to I know she doesn’t want to do but she just says yes because she scared of conflict or something.

When she’s with me or anyone else, she constantly asks for reassurance on things and it frustrates me. This only because she acts like she needs the approval from those around her to do things she wants. Which isn’t the case. Yesterday we were driving in the car with some friends and she was driving a route that she has done many times but was for some reason letting everyone take her on detours since they didn’t know the directions. She knew what had to be done but just for the sake of others she let them drive her around and waste time.

Maybe I’m just looking to hard into things but I don’t know how to help her with what seems to be insecurities or if I should.

When she walks in the room and looks as beautiful as she always does I start hyping her up because she is gorgeous. But she hides her face and seems to really think she’s not and that’s disheartening to see. She bought her car $19k in full by herself, and started her career as a teacher which she always wanted; she has achieved so much but can’t seem to realize it or something. She’s beautiful inside and out and I wish she could see that and have the confidence to wear that on her sleeve.

I’m not too lovely dovy with words but I’ve been trying to remind her how beautiful she is and the achievements she has under her belt to make her realize she’s worth too much to let her roommate or anyone treat her like shit or need constant reassurance from others other than herself.

Is there anything I can do to push her into loving herself more? It’s ultimately up to her to find that in herself but what can I do to get the ball rolling. I know people like to say therapy but I’d feel like an ass if I ever told anyone they need therapy to ‘fix’ themselves. Therapy isn’t wrong I think it would just come off very wrong for me to try and tell someone they need it.

Anywho, I just wanted some advice and I guess to vent a tad bit. Thank you in advance.

tl;dr: Girlfriend is having some insecurities, I want to know how to help.