I (28F) broke up with my ex (29M) after a stable 3yr relationship.
Backstory: I broke things off with my ex due to having a personal mental breakdown and was not in a place to be in a relationship at the time. I knew that for a fact that he was the one, the person I saw my future with. At the time he told me he would be willing to wait. We bother still had and possibly have feelings for each other. At the time I told him that if the opportunity comes and he meets someone else to give that person a chance. (I didn’t want to be selfish and hold onto him and not know when I would be in the right mind set to be back in a relationship and didn’t want him to hold back from anything).
Months after the breakup: The two of us have always been close even after the breakup and our communication between each other was very open and it was really natural. About 6 months after the break up be told me he was seeing and talking to someone (24F) and I was happy for him. I was really happy we managed to maintain and value our friendship to be able to be open and honest about these things. Well 2 months later he told me he was planning to get serious and maybe move on with this girl and at that point it hit me really hard cause I still wanted us to get back together. (He’s the type to date only if he sees a future with them) I ended up telling him how I felt afterwards and at this point he had already moved on and had feels for the other girl. I was devastated that I lost my chance with him. During this time I could tell I put him in a really hard place cause I was the one to force him to move on and right when he did I told him I wanted and hard feels for him still.
A month had pass and it was probably the rollercoaster of all time. He was stuck in the middle of possibly pursuing a new relationship and having one that wanted to grow the one they had for 3 years (very serious). Because he’s has feeling for both, we both agreed that he should just finish his last semester of school before graduating to decide what he wants to do with his relationship life.
Present time: I still love my ex and rn he has feelings for both me and the other girl but knows he can’t have both. At the same time because our friendship is so strong we don’t want that to end either. Sometimes I feel like there’s still hope for us to get back together and that there’s still a deep connection between us. We still hang out a lot and talk and do a lot of fun things but of course it’s not the same as when we were dating but the feeling for me at least is still there. I of course can’t make the decision for him but I’m scared I’ll lose him. We both agreed that maybe me and the other girl should meet (which I’m fine with) but idk how to personally deal with it. I of course want him to be happy but at the same time I don’t want to lose my chances with him.
Question here is: 1) should I be the bigger person and let him give that girl a chance and distance myself from him (I’ll still be around if he wants me to) and let him be happy or 2) should I still try my best to get him back and work on growing our relationship?
TL,DR: he’s currently in a pickle debating if he should give her a chance or get back with him which will involve me continuing therapy and him trusting me again