Ok, so she’s not technically my partner, or at least not exclusively yet. We’ve only been seeing each other for a couple of weeks, but in that time we’ve had unprotected sex many times. I have some experience in healthcare so when I woke up with symptoms of Gonorrhea and/or Chlamydia yesterday I recognized them and went to the doctor. The Doc agreed that I was symptomatic, and had me do blood and urine tests for several STIs along with antibiotic treatment for Gonorrhea/Chlamydia.
So, while I don’t have test results yet, its very likely that they’ll come back positive. I know I should tell this girl, and I certainly plan to, but I don’t know if I should wait until I get the official test results or not.
I really like her, but since its Labor Day weekend it’ll be weird if we don’t see each other during that time– I don’t want her to think that I’m ghosting her while I’m here waiting for test results.
The reason I think she gave it to me is that I was asymptomatic when we met, and She’s the only person I’ve been in months. I don’t really care who gave what to who, I just want to handle this in a way that will allow us both to continue seeing each other in a healthy way.
What are your thoughts, Reddit?
UPDATE: You guys are right. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I would want to be told as soon as possible- I just texted her to meet up ASAP (figure it’s better to do in person)
UPDATE ON THE UPDATE: She Facetimed me soon as she got the text. I told her everything and she was very cool and understanding about it. We’re hanging out tomorrow. All is well. Thanks for the advice!!
7 comments
did you not get tested before engaging a new partner? rookie move
men can be asymptomatic for months. much longer than women. at this point, its 50/50 who gave it to who.
definitely tell her ASAP, definitely dont open with “you gave me a STI”. be an adult about it, not a child. If you didn’t get tested since your last partner, its all up in the air at this point.
Telling her now is the right thing to do, then she can get tested sooner as well and it will all be over and done with quicker!
I would tell her what you r found and say that you’ve gotten tested. You don’t have to accuse her of anything but casually mention that she’s the only person you’ve been with for a few months and that she should probably get tested. If your both cool, you can also be gently with your words and suggest you can still hang out while it’s all getting taken care of.
As someone who had this talk with someone I just became exclusive with (I just told him I was going to get tested before we progress beyond the making out in the car and fondling each other like teenagers stage), and I’m currently waiting to get tested, the outcome of this is very positive. I’m super anxious about testing and / or coming back positive so I hope if anything does happen, he’d handle it like you and her.
Sorry man but she a ex when she finds out
what symptoms did you have?
Uh no