I (27) went out with a guy (32) for about a month, we met on hinge. The dates were really nice and it was a lot of fun. He even mentioned at one point he really didn’t care what we did as long as we spent time together. We kissed a lot but never slept together, I would have loved to sleep with him but he never pushed it there. My assumption was that he wanted a long term relationship as he had mentioned he wanted that. We talked every single day and a lot. And the conversation were very flirty via text. But I guess our conversations in person weren’t all that in-depth. (Now looking back).
About a month of dating later, I noticed the texting slowed down from a conversation everyday to less and less. And then I remember him messaging me in the morning calling me cutie, and when I responded, he never answered. However, he changed his relationship status on Facebook to “In A relationship” and was posting these cute couple memes on his story that same day. I was wondering why he was doing that. The next day he went on vacation but did respond back to me so I thought maybe the status was for me? But eventually he ghosts me for two weeks. After two weeks I then text him saying “I guess were over?” and he calls me and explains that back when the conversation started to slow down, he had gotten in touch with his ex and decided to go back with him and he was mauling over that decision on his vacation for a week before he decided that he doesn’t want to continue our relationship.
This caught me so off guard I literally saw stars, there was ZERO mention of an ex and he had never mentioned anyone or was ever like “my ex was evil blah blah”. So I always assumed he was well over his ex or any old partners.
I am sadden and very upset. But what I am more upset about is how someone can just do that so quickly. He told me he had to maul it over for a week before he came to the decision that he wanted to be with his ex and not me. However, the day he ghosted me, he changed his status on Facebook…so that means he already decided, no? How can someone date someone for a whole month and feel nothing? Feel nothing to even tell me when he didn’t want to date me instead of ghosting me? And feel nothing to even really think about it. He almost knew immediately that he wanted to go back to his ex. I am crushed.
3 comments
It’s not that he felt nothing for you. He just felt much stronger towards the ex. Not telling you was probably more about avoiding confrontation or not wanting to hurt your feelings.
I will tell you this… you are dodging a bullet with this guy.
Seems like he is a coward who lovebombed you and now he’s falling back towards his ex that I’m sure dumped his ass (I can tell from your story the kind of guy this is).
I always stand by the whole “they are your ex for a reason”. I can bet that this guy will fall back to his ex like a puppy (which clearly he did) and they won’t last… then I’m sure he will hit you back up in the near future to see if he can rekindle things. Up to you how you decide to proceed from there. Personally, I recommend moving on.
Is it normal? No. Is it common? Yes. Dont worry about him, carry on.