I’ve recently started seeing a new guy, he’s a year older than I. He’s very tall and also quite large. We’ve had sex a few times already and I’ve given him oral a few times as well. His stamina is very long, though. It usually takes him 30+ minutes to come. I get really, really wet with him and so I’ve had the fear that maybe I’m getting too wet and there’s not enough friction to get him off. But it’s the same with oral, I’m going down on him for 30+ minutes before he comes. I asked him if it usually takes longer for him to come and he said it does. Previous partners of his have refused to give him oral because of how long it took, not to mention his size.
I plan on having a more in depth conversation with him about what I can do better. Don’t get me wrong, I love the sex but I’m not used to a man taking so long to come. I know this might not be a problem to fix, but for sex to stay enjoyable I’m going to need more stimulation than just 30 minutes of penetration.
Looking for advice!
17 comments
You may want to consider stimulating his prostate if he’s up for it during oral, I will guarantee he won’t take half a hour to cum then if he enjoys it.
Sometimes I can go for an hour alternating between oral and intercourse. No ejaculating at all. A few orgasm feelings but nothing squirts out of my cock. Sometimes I only last 5 minutes before I unloading my semen in her pussy. That’s just the way I am. Everybody is different and if you obsess over your partners stamina it will drive you nuts. Only because you probably can’t change it. The alternative is to expect long love making sessions altering between positions and oral in order to give certain parts of your body a rest period. Also, even though you are wet, use lube which helps keep you from getting raw during those long intercourse sessions. I think that he is very satisfied with what you are doing already but conversations about doing better never hurt. So ask and talk about sex. Like the other comment, ask him about prostate massage during oral or anything else that comes to mind. Remember, conversation is a lubrication. Talking before, after, and during sex makes it so much better.
Is he on antidepressants? Theyre famous for making it very difficult to orgasm.
Oral sex doesn’t really stimulates me as much as intercourse but it can be really fast when my gf is playful: grinding on my leg, looking at me while licking and dirty talking.
I’ve been hearing about pompoarism and I suggested it to my gf, it really does work when she does it but it’s quite tough exercise so it’s not always that she’s in the mood to keep her muscles contracted.
What’s the rush ? So many posts from women complaining that their partner doesn’t last long enough.
Do you orgasm during that time, if so how many times?
30 minutes is long?
I think based on your post you just want more foreplay/variety.. so tell him that!
Tell him you’re a quickie girl and good by time x. Maybe he trained for a different crowd or maybe he’s the way he is and fine with that.
People can be satisfied without finishing and he may be used to that.
tell him to stop jerking off so much and to quit porn. That would be the case for most people in his situation, maybe hes not one of them but its ok to check if that could be the case
Many people say that erections are caused by blood. Many experts say that erections are caused by love muscles; pubococcygeus (PC) muscles. Most articles about the PC muscles are about women but men have them too. Just like all other muscles, they can be made stronger. When they are stronger a guy can last longer. Women and men both get more pleasure when their love muscles are strong. I was able to strengthen my PC muscles so that I really enjoy being hard. I want to be hard as long as I can be. I do not have to fuck when I am hard. For me, what others call foreplay can be sex for me. Ask him if he enjoys being hard; he probably does. If he does not need to fuck you then do not feel obligated. For me, I reach a point where I really want to climax; my theory is that that happens when my muscles get tired, mainly because before that I really enjoy it and want it to last.
This is my norm always has been since I lost my virginity, has nothing to do with you, some of us are just wired that way, it’s never been a problem for me ever or the girls, obviously they don’t want to give me 20 minute long blowjobs but that’s fine, they never are bored or unsatisfied because unlike your guy I know what I’m doing and am switching it up a lot, it’s more about my partner than me, that’s what gets me off, and with me being able to go for so long sometimes Ill just stop as long as she’s had her orgasms or I’m too tired to go the distance
I don’t understand the descriptions some people give of how their sex sessions play out.
My wife and I give oral to each other in various positions, I finger her, she jacks me off, we make out, we have PiV in various positions, we use various toys in various positions, we kiss, we suck and lick and massage various body parts. We do all these things typically more than once in all sort of different orders and time lengths. All within one sex session (obviously depending on how much time we have).
I would get very bored giving or receiving, if we just had oral sex or penetration for 30+ minutes straight in one position.
I know to each their own. But, I just feel people might be missing out and maybe making sex a chore compared to what it could be.
You are in heaven! 30 minutes of getting pounded? You don’t get to see that much!
I would suggest asking him about his masturbation habits and porn usage. For some people too much masturbation and/or porn usage, also add in a TIGHT grip with little or no lude, can lead to unnecessary stamina. People call it “Deatgrip Syndrome”. It is quite possible that this isn’t the issue, as some people naturally have crazy stamina. But if it IS the issue then you (he) can retrain his body. It’s takes a lot of patience but it is definitely possible.
If that’s not the issue then I would recommend adding more foreplay into your sessions. Add the right kind of foreplay, and play in general and he will cum quicker. You just gotta find what turns him on more than just getting his dick hard.
Good luck!
Girl… i was sleeping with a guy that would go 3 hrs without cumming..: i was SPENT
I feel I can chime in on this one. I routinely have sex for an hour or more with my girlfriend, split evenly between penetrative and foreplay.
My problem is that I have a combination of delayed ejaculation and leftover deathgrip from long time consumption of porn.
What I do is mentally stimulate myself when I want to come. I find the positions that I know will make me feel good, I think happy thoughts that involve my girlfriend and I push myself a little bit.
The problem might be that there’s not enough variation in your sex? Maybe switch positions, try dirty talk, explore his kinks, ask him about porn consumption, his masturbatory habits (if I don’t masturbate for a week, I come more easily), is he on SSRIs, is he on any other medication, how is his mental wellbeing?
Oh, and foreplay is a must. I go down on my gf, will tease her, will have her tease me, I use words, soft motions, it’s not just penis goes in hole.
All this will play a role in taking a while to come. Also I think just enjoy it, it’s quite nice.
At least he’s tall.