So I (22M) have been struggling with body image issues lately since I’ve gained 35 pounds and it’s gotten to the point where I feel like I’m at a low point in life. My Gf (22F) knows this as I’ve openly tried discussing these things with her in hopes I’d feel better. One of my biggest struggles is my social media usage as it makes me unmotivated to go better myself like go to the gym and such since I’d rather be on the apps than do that. So about a week and a half before our one year anniversary is when I finally got fed up with myself and full sent the mass 30 day deactivation on all my social media apps(Deleted on Monday) after having a mini breakdown. I told my gf about my reasoning behind it and initially she jokingly teased how she’d not get a one year post but quickly said she saw the bigger picture and supports me and is glad I’m wanting better for myself. However, this morning she told me she was sad she wasn’t getting a post and wish I would’ve done my 30 day deactivation before or after. She feels I did it on purpose to not post her and feels that way regardless despite me telling her multiple times I did it because Im trying to change myself and get myself out of this state of depression and self esteem issues. Was I wrong for what I did? I felt like I couldn’t pick and choose a time and date of how I felt about myself and what im going through but she felt like I could have waited.
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TL/DR: I deleted social media to focus on improving my self esteem and mental health but gf thinks I did it on purpose to not post her despite telling her otherwise. Was I wrong for that?
3 comments
Tell her that you are sorry that she will not get a one year anniversary post on your social media, but, you would be happy to participate with her as she makes the post on her social media!
Then explain again how social media was making your mental health worse and that without it, you feel you will be able to do much better and mentally and physically.
Also I just wanted to let you know that there are all kinds of tools and resources out there, and that you don’t have to go it alone. I hope this helps you and gives you encouragement.
You sure it’s just social media that’s hurting you? Because that is incredibly selfish of her.
It sounds like the problem isn’t you deleting social media, but rather her insecurity about the people in your life not knowing about her. You said she feels like this was an excuse not to post her which is what leads me to think this. Maybe a good first step to resolving this would be to address this