I find myself dwelling on previous social interactions so often and it really bothers me. If I have a slightly awkward interaction at a drive through, or with a co worker, or even a slightly tense moment with a friend, I ruminate on it, and physically cringe and grimace.
Replaying things I’ve said or done while drunk is the worst, even when it’s very mild. That’s why I don’t really drink any more.
It seems like it’s getting to the point where any social interaction, no matter how short or normal, just sends me in a spiral of post-interaction social anxiety.
Its gotten to the point where I’ve really drawn in to myself and talk to people as little as possible. I’m not super anxious before or during socializing, in fact I almost feel disassociated a bit in the moment, like I’m not fully present.
2 comments
We all know that feeling, and it sucks. It’s also super common, everyone does it. The people you’re worried about embarrassing yourself in front of are only rethinking *their own* behaviors and not yours, never yours. We are all the main character of our own lives, the fact is we only really care about what we are doing, how our story is going, and everyone else is a side character. You are a side character to them, whatever you did that you are ruminating on, they either didnt notice, or if they did, they have long loooong forgotten by now, too busy thinking about themselves. I know this is common cliché advice but it’s because it’s damn true. The only solutions to this issue is 1. avoiding all social interaction which is obviously not preferable, but is the only way to never experience this again because it’s natural and normal. I don’t suggest option 1. The other is 2. continue interacting and become more familiar with this feeling, internalize the fact that you’re the only one thinking about you, and the feeling with lessen in intensity over time. Go with 2. Good luck
Totally agree with cutemutation and want to add that having a grounding/wind down practice after socializing helps me a lot. Showers are my go to, but it could be yoga, meditation, gaming, watching some comedy… whatever helps soothe your nerves and quiet your mind.
Like cutemutation said, no one but you is obsessing over the things you said, so your main objective should be calming your nervous system.