I’ve been single for half a year now, and been dating again for like 3 months.
I’ve noticed that I go on dates with girls that (with all due respect) are less attractive than me, or with whom I’m not really feeling it.
Mainly because I feel like I won’t get rejected and that I wille be on control of what happens.
I felt connections with some of them but quickly realised that they weren’t what I was looking for. I kind of did it to get back into dating as well after a relationship of 5,5years.
I have now become well aware of how toxic and bad it is what I’ve been doing, because I have had to hurt some people…
But I notice that whenever I have the chance to ask someone out who is more attractive or with whom I see myself being with, I just don’t do it simply because I’m so extremely afraid of getting hurt or being rejected. I have agreed to go on a date with a girl like that and immediatly I see myself overthinking everything and being afraid that it’s not going to work out etc… and it leads to me doubting of I should even go on this date…
I know I’m going to get a lot of stick for my previous dating behaviour but I felt like I had to get a bit of confidence back after my breakup.
Is there something I can do to not be so afraid of being rejected?
5 comments
sure, take a chance and see how it goes
even if you lose, knowing you can try will bolster your confidence
You aren’t ready to go back to dating. Like you said you are aware that what you’ve been doing have hurt others and have not helped yourself.
Take a break, get some help, work on yourself.
I do the same thing with my approach but with guys. I should clarify I used to do that. Solution I found was taking myself completely out of the dating game to work on loosing weight and gaining confidence. The more you see your self worth the more likely you will approach girls you like. I say take a break and it’s good you acknowledge this so you can work on it.
If you want higher attractive partner, become more attractive yourself.
Losing is just as big as part of winning, as long as you’re willing to learn from your losses.