Have you ever lied in a relationship? When is lying to your partner justified?

26 comments

1. If only in little things, so as not to upset his beloved girl

2. [deleted]

3. Honesty and openness is the most important thing in a relationship. The truth can be presented in different ways, even if it is an offensive truth, you can express it without being negative.

4. Either someone has, or they are lying 🙂

5. i lied when her doctor thought she had cervical cancer, when she asked if i was worried i said no

   but secretly i was scared shitless the whole time, especially in the weeks when we were waiting for test results

   it turned out ok though, false alarm

6. Well-being in a relationship is a complex mechanism where a little lie has its place. Name me one person who always tells only the truth, even brutal ones, to his loved one. I think there is no such person.

7. I’ve lied, and to be fair, in 99% of situations lying to your S.O is not justified. That said, every woman I’ve dated I never loved. I’ve said it but knew it was a lie. Not deep down, I actually 100% knew it.

   Now I did like them and truly cared for them, but I can’t honestly say the feeling was love. Maybe like a precursor to love (if that even exists).

   Though I think if we had stuck things out I would’ve grown to love them.

8. When you are trying to throw a wanted surprise party.

9. Yes I’ve lied. But it’s always been something that was unimportant. I’ve never lied about important stuff.

10. When she ask do these jeans make my ass look big

11. I always lie when I’m asked what I’m thinking about. I’d rather say “you” or “our future together” or something else inane rather than admit I’m wondering how many sixth graders it would take to snuff out a horse-sized praying mantis.

12. When no one gets hurt if the truth comes up, sometimes after work I lie and say I gotta stay 30 minutes late, but I’m really having a walk alone to decompress from work stress. I come home happier and no one is really hurt by it

13. I don’t lie to my partner and IMHO it is never justified.

14. Lying is never justified but people still make excuses to cover up the lie like it would hurt their feelings.

    Bullshit if its good enough to lie about its good enough to be honest about.

15. I lied to avoid continuing an argument that had already made me decide to dump her.

    Why continue arguing with someone you’re going to dump?

    I basically lied and told her that I cared that she was upset so she’d settle down so I could finish my movie and get her out of my house before dumping her.

16. **Honestly, all the time. Its easier than to deal with someone else’s irrationality.**

    In a relationship, you constantly stumble onto unsolvable problems where compromise is impossible. Its either your way or their way. Or, you can have it both ways, and buffer it with harmless lies and a good measure of “don’t ask don’t tell”.

    Otherwise, you contstantly have to go to war wit your SO over stuff that is important to them, but obviously for irrational (and for them, sometimes shameful to admit) reasons. We all have some stupid beliefs, phobias, obsessions and irratinalities that oters should not kowtow to, but we cannot be talked out of them either.

    Example: My SO is completely disgusted with masturbation, both the idea and the practice. She never does it either, and is mortally offended if I do. I consider moderately regular masturbation to be good and healthy (and science agrees with me). We talked about it countless times, diplomatically and with shouting matches. In the end, the only solution that works is that i wank it discretely, and tell her I don’t do it.

17. Man lies: world ends

    Woman lies: absolutely fine

18. I lied to her that I was still attending University

    I still feel terrible about it and was considering breaking up with her cause I couldn’t stand lying but here it goes. I loaded my classes that semester cause I was trying to catch up and was also working part time to try and pay for classes/make ends meet. Long story short I dropped classes before I had to pay the next installment because I just couldn’t afford it at the time cause I had to fix my car and sometimes would have to come late or skip class entirely because my car wouldn’t be working. This isn’t a pity party I’m just giving context. I explain this whole situation to my gf but she doesn’t have alot of real world experience so she just didn’t understand what I was saying or why I couldn’t afford certain things.

    So I end up working more hours and just hope to make up the credits in the summer, and the ENTIRE semester she’d text me throughout the day and I’d say “hold on I’m in class” while I’d be at work or something and wouldn’t answer my phone for like an hour. We were long distance but she knew my course schedule, I hated lying to her but I liked her so much and when I tried explaining to her how I struggled paying for school she kind of belittled me and looked at me like I was stupid. Basically got the sense she’d breakup with me if I wasn’t actively attending. One time she actually brought up how her ex bf who also went to my Uni attends on a full scholarship while I’m struggling to pay and that just cut deep… not justified but yeah it is what it is. We ended up breaking up cause she’s just a shitty person

19. All the time.

    Never tell the truth if it’ll make things worse.

20. Everyone lies about something at some point. What matters is the context of the lie.

    Are you lying about liking something insignificant or something major?

    Are you lying about your current or overall emotional state?

    Are you lying for your benefit or someone else’s?

    There are going to be people that say that say “ANY” lying in a relationship is bad. That’s very immature and black and white thinking as I noted earlier context of the lie matters in order to know whether it’s justified or not.

21. I lie all the time, one big lie and dozens upon dozens of little ones:

    The little ones – always about choosing something around the house or her clothes or kids clothes. I really don’t give a shit about which towel, which color, which button, which material etc etc. I usually randomly select based on what’s given to me. I suspect my wife knows but does the choice thing anyways because half the time I don’t look long enough and I answer and she rolls her eyes and picks. I do this because it’s faster and easier for all parties involved.

    The big one – she always asks me how is work or the big project/deal I’m working on, or who are the key people on my team working out or new people I’m paired with. 9/10 times it’s a dumpster fire and my stress levels are high and I’m dealing with some bullshit but I tell her only the best parts of my job. I do this because I don’t want to download the stress on to her and the kids. While I know she’s an amazingly supportive partner, she can’t exactly help or control the situation so why bother stressing her out.

22. Usually never but lying by omission is another thing. Example, I’ve never been shy to tell my then wife no thay outfits garbage, or you have put on about 21kg more than I’m willing to tolerate. But after we seperated she never asked me if I had slept with anyone else and I never brought it up.

23. Lying is never justified. Ever

24. Does “no, this cake is delicious, I like it a bit crunchy” count as lying?

25. I told my girlfriend at the time I didn’t mute her on twitter. Twitter is my favorite social medium and her posts were so cringe worthy I couldn’t take it.

26. When your wife ask who of her sisters I think is the hottest amirite?!!