I (28F) have had this issue for most of my life. I’ve recently entered a male dominated field so I’m a bit wary. Sometimes I stare at people if I think they look funny or interesting, or if they’re in the way. I’m usually pretty nice to most people and men often mistake that for interest. Now at my age I have no problem anymore being extremely rude to men who bother me but I don’t want to do that in the workplace. What can I say / how can I act around men who think I’m interested to 100% convince them I’m NOT while still being professional? I don’t want to make a hostile work environment for myself.
I don’t think I can lie about being in a relationship or being a lesbian here.
Edit: when I say “stare” i don’t mean I’m leering at them. I dont think I’m staring at them in a creepy way or for long periods of time, I look at the people around me, the way I think everyone does. I don’t want to have to walk around with my eyes glued to the floor to prevent men from thinking I like them
21 comments
I mean, you do say you are staring. Maybe trying to stop that might mitigate the problem.
Remind them you don’t date colleagues and if they persist, HR is there for this reason. To protect the company from this type of behaviour.
“Not interested, sorry”
Well you’re going to have to stop staring at people for one. I mean if a guy constantly stared at you, wouldn’t that cross your mind thinking he’s interested in you?
Otherwise I think you’re doing fine & if you reject them directly or state you don’t date co workers they hopefully will respect that
Otherwise HR will gladly take your side
So, you stare at them, and then get “extremely rude” when they give you attention back?
You know that meme template where the guy jams a stick in his own bicycle wheel, then falls off and says “why would X do this!!!”.
That is you.
Stop staring at people if you aren’t interested. It’s creepy as fuck. And stop being rude when you get a response for it. Grow up.
Don’t stare at them? Just keep it moving with a head nod or say excuse me.
Gotta agree with others here. You can mitigate this a ton by watching and addressing your own behavior about staring. If someone is still giving you unwanted attention, a polite “let’s keep things professional” might be a good start.
Boundaries are your friend here. Be professional, keep it work related always,
Why are you staring at people? That’s disconcerting anywhere. Stop it! This is obviously leading to a lot of confusion. You’re going to have those d bags in any work place that need to be muzzled and leashed, which you say you can handle, but the staring needs to stop. You’re probably making a bunch of people uncomfortable as well, and the other idiots are then coming onto you making it harder to do your job.
You’ll get some suggestions here, but if you haven’t already, post this in a sub aimed at women. They will have tons of tricks and ideas for discouraging unwanted attention. I saw a post like a week back in a feminist sub and there were many good ideas. It was about catcalls, but same kind of idea.
Just be direct. Remind them to keep things professional.
Give it 10 more years and it’ll happen less and less often probably.
Be professional at all times. Keep all conversations job related. Dress professionally and not provocatively.
Just be blunt. “I don’t shit were I eat” Or said another way I don’t fool around with coworkers.
You shouldn’t have to change your behavior when it’s not you causing the problem in the first place. They need to change theirs.
But in reality. Just talk to them first and explain things. If it gets worse, go to HR. The best thing to do is just sort it out like grown individuals.
Staring at people because they’re funny looking isn’t professional… neither is being extremely rude to coworkers. So my initial advice would be to act professional
Beyond that, just be direct and say you’re not interested in dating. If anyone does anything inappropriate tell them to stop or use hr
Don’t be nice to men. Women are rarely nice to men so when you are nice the vast majority of men will think you are interested.
Don’t make small talk, don’t sit with them for lunch, don’t become friends with them. Only talk about work.
Difficult to answer, but maybe wear a band on the ring finger to show you are married. It might deter some
Grow old.
Don’t stare.
Keep telling them that you’re not interested.
Tell them you have a boyfriend/girlfriend (even if that’s not true)
Tell them you don’t ever date anyone at work.
Just be professional, your response to any advances should be along the lines of “sorry, this is work”
This can be actually very easily remedied.
You just have to stop staring at people especially when you think they look funny to you. It’s kinda contradictory saying you are professional, when your actions, dont seem very professional at all.
Funnily just reverse the genders and see the whole world clamp down upon the guy and label him a creep, weirdo and what not. Women get a lot of pass for shitty unprofessional behaviour.
Anyways, If someone approaches you with a romantic interest, you can decline them. They will understand 99% of the time and won’t bother you again. For the rest , there is always the HR.