Hi! My boyfriend wakes me up in the morning with cuddles (which I love!!). The only problem is that I wake up half asleep and I’d think that we’d just fix our cuddle position to go back to sleep. WRONG!! This man wants to interact with me (making faces and asking me questions) so I wake up fully every morning. Okay okay so we’re awake now, then he decides he wants to fall asleep because he got his morning attention and now he can peacefully sleep while cuddling. THIS MAKES ME FURIOUS and I’ve spoken to him about it because I just hate being woken up in the morning to be ignored and stuck in a cuddle position fully awake. I also don’t wanna move because I’m considerate when someone’s sleeping. He also doesn’t let me leave the bed. My plan for now is to wake up tomorrow and do the same thing to him just to give him a taste of his medicine and so he can start learning to be more considerate of me when I’m asleep. But what can I do moving forward?

Edit: thanks for the funny comments and those that really do make sense! The more he sees the comment (giving different angles and points) the more it becomes concrete in his mind to stop doing it. I failed to mention that we don’t see each other a lot and I have been in his city hence the cuddling bombing, so I understand. Most importantly he understands my POV too!! Again thanks everyone!

Edit pt 2: I see what red flags there are based on just reading my post which could have been worded better. This probably could have caused the variability on the comments about the gravity of the situation. I intended for this post to be a light hearted rant. Also, I posted on reddit knowing that I could take advantage of my anonymity here and not for attention, I would have posted our selfie otherwise.. or something more serious but totally made up story. I have enough attention from him anyway, hence the post I guess. Haha!

He was reading with me because we both were open to diff solutions and some comments were hilarious. Sometimes he just can’t help being annoying, sometimes I can’t help it. Like I said it was supposed to be a light hearted rant which wasn’t worded well. Tomorrow is a new day! Water gun fight pew pew!!

47 comments

  1. I hate being woken up too….

    Well maybe you don’t want cuddles or talks… Maybe you want a Spontaneous water fight while he’s in deep sleep.

  2. Put your hand on his face and force yourself out of the cuddles. If he wants to be rude. Be rude back. You got this 👍

  3. “I also don’t wanna move because I’m considerate when someone’s sleeping.”

    Stop being considerate. And tell him no when he wakes you up. This is passive aggressive as hell.

  4. Just tell him you don’t want to be woken up. Say you enjoy the cuddling, but the talking wakes you up too much and ask if he could please keep it to cuddles only until you two are ready to wake up.

    If he has an issue with that, keep talking to him once he gets comfy and tries to fall back asleep. Anytime he stops talking, ask a question. And if he says something like, “I just want to sleep” retort back, “so did I, but here we are now.”

  5. >he doesn’t let me leave the bed.

    What do you mean by this?

    >what can I do moving forward?

    You stop sleeping in the same bed with someone who willingly, knowingly inflicts sleep deprivation on you and seems not to give a shit.

    Sleep deprivation is a form of torture. Over time, it can cause cognitive impairment, mood disorders, memory loss, and the list goes on.

    The point is, this is not “cute” and it’s not a joke. I don’t understand why you’re more worried about “being considerate” than your own health and wellbeing.

  6. Also, I would just like to note that this is the most adorable issue I’ve seen discussed on this sub

  8. He’s gonna love it when you wake up and cuddle him. I don’t think it’ll help your case at all.

  10. For 21yrs DH has woken me at 4.30am as he is leaving to go to work. My body clock has me going to bed at about 10/11pm but wake at 4.30am because of this BS. I usually go back to sleep until 7 when I wake for school run then work… but sometimes I’m awake awake and shitty about it!!

    I can commiserate fully. I hope you can fix it otherwise 21 years later you’ll be whinging on the internet about it.

  11. Omg! He sounds like a horrible human being. I would become a lesbian and swear off men forever.

  13. Literally do what he did, your golden. He ruined the slep, it is war.

    If he cuddled you up and just talked to you while giving half asleep kisses with no response needed it’s a nooty good time. Unwarented consciousness is an act of fucking terrorism. To Guantanamo, board, cloth, bucket of water “WHERE IS MY SLEEP, WHERR IS MY UNCONSCIOUS BLISS!!!!”

    If it was me: “fucking bitch, I was fighting a big robot, shooting exploding rainbow kitten 60mm grenades, and now I’m awake and eating your hair…. gon is my slep so I giv u hek *body and bones in a blanket burrito, goes pours bath, get ice cubes, obtain the honey burrito roll that unconscious sleep ruining jihadist out into a freezing cold bath and pin her down. “NOW WE SUFFER TOGETHER!!!” Then jump in with her. ”

    Yes I identify with the the Chaotic Neutrals of the world : >

  14. You love cuddles that’s great let him know that you love it but don’t wake you up to cuddle he can cuddle you while you’re asleep if you’re cool with that just let him know not to wake you it’s possible for him to put his arms around you while you were asleep it’s also possible for him to put your arms around him while you’re asleep cuddling is quite easy just let him know your parameters that’s all

  15. This reminds me of my ex-wife. She used to ask one of our daughters if she was asleep mid road trip, asked over and over if she was asleep louder every time until she woke her up confused and she would just say “oh it’s ok sweetheart go back to sleep” it annoyed and infuriated everyone as she was dead serious. Lmao

  17. My bf also would chronically talk to me and wake me up instantly the second he saw me move or my eyes open… it was misery. We had to start sleeping in different rooms eventually after some other things that messed with my sleep. Never compromise on sleep!

  18. > I also don’t wanna move because I’m considerate when someone’s sleeping. He also doesn’t let me leave the bed.

    If he wakes you up after you’ve told him not to – you owe him no such niceties. I would tell him that from now on if he wakes you up before your alarm in the morning to talk for a short while and go back to sleep *before your alarm* goes off you will be going about what you want with zero care for his sleep as he had zero care for yours. I’d probably be petty enough to make sure I’m loud in the room, but I’m very protective about my sleep.

    Sometimes people only understand what assholes they are to you when you do the same thing back to them.

  20. This is Reddit. He is clearly not capable of respecting your boundaries so you need to consult a lawyer ASAP and dump his sorry arse immediately.

  21. I think it’s okay you don’t wanna be cuddled and woken up while you’re sleeping, but the whole “Give him a taste of his own medicine” thing never ends well. That’s a weird thing to say or want considering this is your significant other, who you’re going to spend your life with. You can’t be thinking that way if you want a long lasting relationship. It sounds like you’re thinking to yourself “How can I get back at him?”

  23. 🥲🥲🥲🥲😢😢😢😭😭😭😭😭 this one of the cutest problems i have ever heard. GODDAMNIT ITS SO FLUFFY I COULD DIE!!!

  24. Next time he wakes you up, mid REM – (reflex) slap him in the face as hard as you can,

    then immediately blame it on your sleeping/dreaming.

    He won’t do it again.

  25. Start griping him up, most people are cranky when they don’t get enough sleep. Sleep literally repairs your body, rather inconsiderate. You’ll start hating the dude at some point if he doesn’t stop. Hopefully he reads that.

  26. Pfft I love this. Same issue. My amazing husband is SUCH A MORNING PERSON it drives me crazy. I’m sure my being a night owl feels the same for him. He can fall asleep at the drop of a hat – it might take me 2+hours to fall asleep so when he is out here waking me up with ideas at 6am kwhen I JUST got to sleep…I… well I could be nicer. But also I will admit to waking him up at 3am because we need to talk about the “thing” because I’m in my zone and that’s def my bad. Advice – agree on a tabling. That way, when either of you have been woken up and irritable you let the other know it’s a safe “sleeping table” and you’re open to talking about it when not trying to sleep.

  27. FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS…LEAVE HIM & LIVE A LIFE OF CELIBACY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE & SHUT UP WHEN YOU FEEL LONELY! END OF STORY!

  29. Could be as simple as leaving your phone next to the bed (if you don’t already) so you can just grab it and browse while you’re stuck there.

  30. See I’m just chaotic and would straight up start biting where I could reach to wake said person up. If I’m not sleeping neither is the other person.

  32. being woken up by others tho he is yr loved one sucks, i had a new born baby girl who i loved to death, but still i would be frustrated and fuzzy when she needs to be breastfeeding during nights…..hahaha

  34. Just whisper shhhhhhhhhhhh when he starts to talk and get comfy then go back to sleep. Don’t let him start talking 😅

  35. Screw the heck out of that. If I’m awake and we’re not having sex I’m getting out of the bed. Cuddles are one thing but once they’re done it’s time to shit and get off the pot.

  36. I used to leave for work super early and I’d always be really careful to not wake my girlfriend up. I’d be sneaking around the house and trying not to be noisy while getting ready etc.

    Now we’ve swapped and she leaves before I do, and she wakes me up fully every morning, talking to me and kissing me, not troubling to keep the noise down from the kitchen etc. I’ve even told her to please let me sleep, but she still doesn’t.

    Yesterday she asked me why I was so tired and I told her I didn’t get much sleep last night. She looked surprised and asked me why I didn’t go back to sleep after she left for work?? Some people just don’t have a problem going back to sleep after being fully awake, and they don’t understand why other people can’t 🥲

  38. How is the human race still on this planet if THIS is a problem that people can’t solve themselves?

  40. OP he doesn’t need to “figure out a way to fix this” with you… he can just stop waking you up. it’s really that simple

  44. When he does it to you next and falls back asleep… A bucket of ice cold water 💦 🧊🪣 should hammer your point home.

  45. “Sometimes he just can’t help being annoying”

    My ex did a lot of this, waking me up for crap and then feigning ignorance about how it made me feel despite talking about it with him. He “couldn’t help it” either (gag)

    Feels good to sleep next to a man now who respects my sleep schedule

  47. I used to dread staying with bf and feel slightly relieved when we parted ways, because he’d wake me up in the middle of the night to chat/cuddle/have sex. Then I’d be half dead for the whole day. After a few weeks, I couldn’t take it anymore, and I asked him to let me have uninterrupted sleep.

    So he started waking me up at 5-6am to chat/cuddle/have sex, and again I’d be half dead for the whole day. I thought this is the definition of meeting in the middle, but after a few weeks, I felt guilty because he always seemed to miss me, while I felt happier when we were not together. So we had another chat about it. And now he respects my sleeping schedule (I usually wake up at about 7:30 – 8:00), and I finally look forward to spending a lot of time with him & actually miss him when we’re not together.

    Communication in relationship is gold.

    Talk to him about it, be as non-confrontational as possible, and see how you two can work it out together.

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