I (18 MTF) havent had a single enjoyable sexual experience with other people. I think it could stem back to being molested, but every time I’ve done it (I’ve only done it online, never irl) I feel wrong and extremely uncomfortable. Some of it is harassment, bit a lot of the time I consent because I both want the validation and I want to feel normal, sexually. I want to enjoy it but all of my anxiety just cripples me. There have been a few times where I had to get a friend to intervien because I was to pathetic to. EVEN HIM IVE GONE TO THAT LEVEL OF UNCOMFORTABLE WITH!! I feel broken and i just don’t know what to do.

5 comments

  1. Trauma can do this to you. Are you talking to a counselor or therapist? Also have you considered the possibility that you may be asexual? If that happens every time, then maybe you should talk to someone and take some time to sort out your own thoughts and feelings about sex in itself. Im no expert or anything, but you probably just need to figure out what you need for your own mental health.

  4. i think it’s because of trauma, i experienced this, this happens after sexual assault. it’s not easy to learn to feel comfortable after that, you really should go slow. consider therapy. many people after SA experience PTSD.
    also, it’s possible you’re even more uncomfortable because of dysphoria.
    don’t have sex because you need validation. have it only if you really want to. it’s okay to not have sex if you don’t feel ready and comfortable

    ETA: also don’t worry, you’re still very young, you have plenty of time to figure out what you want and have good, fulfilling sex life. and that includes lack of thereof, if you figure out you don’t even want to have sex

  5. I can highly recommend the books “Come as You Are” by Dr. Emily Nagoski and “The Art of Receiving and Giving” by Dr. Betty Martin. The latter also has a website with a free online videos course on the topic: [https://bettymartin.org/videos/](https://bettymartin.org/videos/)

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like