Am I loco, or is the average subscriber to this sub extremely insecure and convinced their partner is the problem?
Several times a day, a post comes up:
My husband liked a girls pic on Facebook
My husband follows Kim kardashian on IG
My husband smiled a lot when he sold his bike to a pretty girl
My husband received a text at 9:00 PM
These are all behaviors that, in any other scenario, with any other accusation, would seem completely innocent. And the accusations would be presumptively ridiculous.
My husband likes Arby’s tweets. He’s probably gonna sneak out at midnight for a roast beef sandwich.
My husband chit chatted with a man at the fishing shop. They’re probably gonna be best friends now.
Etc.
In response, 99% of these posts deserve a:
If you have a healthy happy marriage, you’re trippin right now. Stop worrying. Get off Reddit. And go watch this is us with your husband!
Or…
If one like on one post freaks you out this much, your marriage might kinda suck or you might need to take a deep look at your insecurities.
Instead, the immediate response is a “women are incredibly awesome and men can’t be trusted when out of sight for thirty seconds” slew of self fulfilling prophecies….
You need to download the contents of his phone and create excel functions to search for anything suspicious
You need to tell him how uncomfortable it is when he likes photos
OPs husband sounds like a pervert
Etc.
What am I missing here?
Why is it nearly unanimously accepted that radical fears based on tiny particles of non evidence are always cause for concern?
How are this many people happily waking up next to men each morning, staunchly convinced that theses men have raging boners ready to shove it into anything that moves?
And how can you expect respect, trust, and love from someone when you clearly offer none in return?
And if Facebook and occasional phone notifications freak you out this much, are you anxiously chewing your fingernails off while he is at work, is at CVS, is playing Xbox at Chad’s house, etc ?
Theories I’m floating…. Please feel free to discuss!
You’ve “stopped trying” from an attractiveness standpoint and your husband still tries and you worry there’s an incongruity there?
You were cheated on by a douche when you were 25 and never got over it?
Your husband is a douche and you’ve spent 20 years trying to ignore it?
Monogamy is an unnatural social construct sold to us by capitalists?
It’s so hard to face irrational insecurity, that we tell grand stories to normalize it and, like a party where EVERYONE has taken LSD, we all have the same delusions?
Reality… Without knowing anyone here:
Your husband is probably unattractive and awkward around any woman who isn’t you
Your husband is as tired and overworked as you are. He doesn’t have the energy to find a new chick. And if he did, he isn’t gonna make the first move by liking a photo
Your husband senses your distrust and if/when he cheats, it’ll be partly because the new girl isn’t asking for his TikTok password.
Yes, affairs happen everyday. They don’t happen due to accidental flirting. They don’t happen due to random Facebook occurrences. They happen because the marriage kinda sucks. Let’s all work a bit harder to ensure our marriages don’t suck. And let’s agree that – I need all your passwords – isn’t the way to do it.
Please discuss….
9 comments
Popcorn……lol
Yes to all of this! I couldn’t have said it better. It boggles my mind how many people are in marriages where there’s so much mistrust. Like any other human, I have insecurities, but I believed my husband when we took our vows and know that he’s still choosing me every single day.
Baz Luhrmann once said the following:
“Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it
Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth”
I think this is pretty on point. Everything we feel and the advice we give is largely relative to our own unique experiences 🙂 I can talk about peace and love and unity all day because that’s my jam *right now* but circumstances and outlooks could change. Just keep preaching and spreading your gospel of love and it will connect with some, and miss others
Yes, but think of the happiness that derives from hearing 100 people confirm that your husband is a sexually deviant little-boy pig who uses you as a cum-bucket, broke all of your boundaries and needs therapy every day for the rest of his life. What a high.
I haven’t seen these posts at all. Not saying they don’t exist, it’s just that the suspicious are usually more substantiated
I haven’t read any of those those you mentioned. Stop trying to stir the pot dude.
Are you sure you are in the right subreddit?
Agree
I had a moment of insecurity last week and I called my husband immediately to clear it up rather than let it fester and turn into a full blown paranoid issue.
It turns out I misunderstood him and he was entertained and flattered that I was jealous (this is very rare for me since I do trust him). I kind of hate that he gets so flattered when I get jealous but I do appreciate that he never tries to make me jealous. He assured me but once I was assured he told me he thought it was funny and was touched that I loved him so much.
But yeah I didn’t post about it because it was solved in under an hour without the need for reddit’s advice 🤷♀️