I (26F) have a problem with my friend (36M)
I have this great friend (36M from the title) who helped me move out when I broke things off with my ex in the spring and helped me through all the logistical and emotional aspect of things. This guy is like my older brother, weve known eachother for years but he really doesn’t know how to hold his opinions to himself and sometimes says things about other people in my life that are clearly just his opinion and I know they are coming from some tough history and trauma of his and are mostly being said to try to protect me, but likewise, I share practically everything with this person, except really for my critique on the way he jumps to conclusions about people, so he generally knows what is going on in my life and how I actually feel about the people I am talking about.
For some unrelated reasons I am currently sort of homeless. I was staying with a mutual acquaintance of ours but had to travel to my parents for a family emergency about a month ago. I left all of my stuff packed up in a corner of my friend’s basement and I don’t really have the financial stability to get a plane ticket back to the town I live in yet and am not really in a position to ask my family for the money. My parents are OK putting up with me for a long while, so long as I buy groceries for myself and such. But my mom and I don’t have the best relationship and I was complaining to my friend on the phone about it today and he got weird and short with me, saying “I already have a pre-programmed response to this and I know you won’t like it”. He thinks I should come back to the town we live in sooner so he can take better care of me, even though I know our relationship is also kind of weird and that he wouldn’t actually be able to take as good care of me as my family is right now. (While I don’t technically have a diagnosis, I think I am on the autism spectrum, and the research i have done leads me to think that i might be living with it. I have a really hard time reading social cues and am very socially anxious, and find it very difficult to make friends or talk to people in general)
I think I need to be here right now to be able to support my family, and be supported by my family at a time of need. I’ve also though been avoiding certain family members because, while I love them of course, it is painful to see them now. I’m feeling very nostalgic and lonely here.
Anyway I wish my friend wouldn’t make comments about my family members the way they do, and our last conversation made me a little upset because I had been looking forward to talking to him but then he just latched on to my relationship with my mom and that’s not something that he can fix.
I don’t really want to upset him, especially with all of my stuff packed in his basement. I also don’t want to insult him by asking for him to send me all of my stuff in the mail or something.
TLDR: Having some problems with a good friend, anyone know how to navigate this, or have experiences similar with how to tell your friends that they have a habit or behavior like this that you don’t like?