I’m 21m, in college. Imagine those over the top “r entitled parents” posts but I’m not 15 anymore and I’m grounded in reality. Been to a few therapists/psychiatrist/pediatricians bc when mom heard “you need to back off a bit” or anything that eluded to her her being the problem, she’d switch therapists. My second and 5th therapist (went back to her bc she was the best) says I need to see that her expectations are insane. I know they are, I know they are, but it keeps eating me alive.
For example, today’s issue started Monday. Went home from college for labor day, when I was about to go back to school (2hr drive back), sewage water came up through every drain. Little brother flushed popsicle sticks. Drain snaked and scrubbed every toilet/bathtub twice which took several hours. I had 2 hours to drive back, 1 hour to unpack, shower, get ready for bed and wind down, that meant I’d only have 4 or less hours of sleep before an 8am the next day. I told my parents I emailed the professor and went to his office hours afterwards and it all worked out. Today she’s crawling up my butt because I’m a “lazyass” who didn’t take responsibility or accountability, I should’ve been in class.
I 110% understand that it’s a ridiculous and asinine request. It’s been solved there was no reason for her to come back at me 2 days later and blow up about it. Silly. But why does it keep tearing down my day? I can’t block it out. It doesn’t stop! I have an exam tomorrow and I can’t focus, it’s been over an hour already and I can’t get back to it.
She will never change. Even my little bros therapist got dad more involved (good thing) so now she’s not going to be switching anytime soon. She’s gotten better but not great (today is an example). Should add that dad is level-headed but can’t control mom like it’s the fuckin 50s, he can admit that it’s ridiculous but is at a loss for what to do as well other than ignore it.
Won’t be cutting parents out because as I said, I’m grounded in reality and with health insurance, they’re helping pay for 2 more semesters of college, and they help pay for housing and they’re my parents. Not here for “oh my god she’s obviously [proceeds to diagnose my mom].” None of that.
How do I keep her wordsbor rants from affecting me so much? I love her but Jesus Christ, she makes life unbearable a lot of the time.
1 comment
You’re 21, your mom shouldn’t be changing therapists just so she can find one that will always take her side.
I would consider telling your mom that she can either stay with the therapist that you choose, or that she can stop being in your life. Sometimes you have to make things suck for a while to get people to change.