We have both a high sexual drive and we have a lot of sex. But the problem is that she’s always the one starting it. I don’t know how to show my excitation, to make her horny. Any tips ? I want to learn how can I excite her. Thank you !

49 comments

  2. Ask her. How any of us here on reddit want our partner(s) to initiate sex might be very different from how your girlfriend wants you to initiate.

  4. What works for me:

    1. “Wanna fuck?”

    2. Leaning over for a quick kiss, which turns into a slow one, which turns into a slow one with tongue.

    3. Hugging her from behind, grabbing her hips and pressing my boner into her butt.

  6. Well start by touching her shoulders while kissing her and move the hands down the hips and stroke the hips a bit. Then kiss her a bit more intense. Stop look her in the eyes, and start kissing her throat / neck towards the ears. Say I love you and that you want her now and then slowly lead her to lay down and keep gently streak or how I write that, but gently “brush the tummy part towards hip” Move to the legs and inner thighs, then back to hips. I usually go wild by this

    Then whisper to her what would you like me to do?

    Usually if she’s not in mood she will most likely stop you by the hip part.

  10. Show her your boner and say “wanna fuck”. (and you don’t always have to be this subtle. There’s lots of ways to do it)

  11. as a female and being the one who initiates 90% of the time. literally anything my bf could say would appreciated .. being the person constantly initiating more can be a big blow to your ego.. you think they don’t want you like you do them. you think they don’t enjoy enough to ask for it.. when often times the other partner is just the initiating type.. for anxiety, characteristically, or what not reason.

    honestly the best thing i could wish for is him when he does finally initiate.. it would be him removing my clothes without saying a word and then shoving his face on my pussy… not asking if we could have sex just doing it.

  14. Easiest thing in the world. A few ideas:

    * Brush your fingers lightly across her chest or crotch.
    * Lie down naked next to her, arms above your head
    * Walk around at home naked from the waist down

  19. When I was with my fwb he often started with kissing my legs out of the blue and going down on me. Can‘t say I didn‘t love it.

  22. Yeah back in the day just catching his eye, locking gazes and obviously glancing toward the bedroom door would do it…

  24. One of my favorite initiation techniques my husband does is he approaches me from behind, grabs my waist to where I can feel him against my butt. Then starts kissing my neck while putting his hand down the front of my pants… then it’s on.

    Edit: I’m always in the mood…

  25. My boyfriend just touch my boobs when we’re kissing. If I don’t swat his hand away, I’m in.

  26. People are different. Find out the kinds of things that turn her own. Like for me, any kind of submissive behavior makes me want to jump a person.

  27. I just stand in the middle of the room and pump my hands and hips. I either do that until I pass out from exhaustion, or we have sex.

    Sometimes my wife lays a blanket on me when I pass out. I love her.

  29. Just plop it on the table and wait for her to take the bait. Timing is VERY important for this to work lol.

  30. My wife almost never initiates. Idk why, but I just suggest some “sexy time” or that we should “make some love” and we are off to the races usually.

    Or I’ll spank her bottom, gently but firmly, and tell her I want her while kissing her neck or holding her and grabbing her butt. That usually works.

    Good luck. Have fun and be respectful.

  31. Have you tried getting some feathers and doing elaborate dances like those tropical birds

  33. Please note that I am an internet stranger hailing from parts unknown. I am not an expert.

    It depends on how you want to *orchestrate* your excitement:

    * Fast / Simple: Hand on butt (spank or no spank is dealer’s choice). Might be a little **too** simple but this is the easiest but least sophisticated way of showing interest in your partner / sex.

    * Slower / More subtle: Simple caressing near the area (hips or lower back as opposed to Straight to the butt) of interest. Hands grazing thighs towards the inner thigh edging closer over let’s say 15 minutes while lazily watching TV on the couch.

    * Even Slower / More complicated: Ratchet up the tension by delay. This sounds mean but can be done in a simple way (if you are into this sort of thing). Delay involves doing something sexual (grinding her butt or something similar) to get her going. Then don’t follow through. Do it again later and THEN follow through. How much you delay is up to how you can read your partner. Another example of delay is sending flirty texts throughout the day. This can ratchet up tension until the end of the work day when “steam is let off” so to speak. Obviously this depends on your work dynamic.

  34. when my bf initiates it’s usually by grabbing my tits and grabbing and lightly spanking my butt. immediately after that i get the message and we start making out. i usually start sucking his dick from there because that’s both our favorite foreplay but sometimes he’ll put my hand on his boner if i’m not already down there lol.

  35. Walk into room naked and say “fuck time????” If that doesn’t do the trick I don’t know what will…

  36. Her nipples and neck always works out for my girlfriend, try kissing her while rubbing her boobs and nipples trust me on that it always works

  39. Asked my FWB once ‘how do I turn on a woman’ and his steps (that immediately worked) were…
    – it’s all about how you look at her, with want and NEED
    – kiss her neck
    – travel up to kiss her with increasing intensity
    – hands either round their back or bum, pulling them tighter
    – then kiss down the body teasing for head
    – be verbal, tell them what you want to do to them and how much you want them

    It’s all about conveying want

  41. I feel like there are two important things to think about here. One is what specifically works for her. I had a gf that had an erogenous zone on the back of her neck. If I so much as breathed there she was turned on if she was at all receptive to having sex. Another gf preferred to ask or be asked, so one of us would just look at the other and say, “Sex?”

    The other thing to consider is the anticipation, which can be good and bad. It can be good if she’s excited by whatever thing comes first before y’all have sex. I had one gf that had to change her sheets before we had sex, so eventually she got wet every time she changed her sheets even if I was not around. The downside is if you don’t touch her in ways that she wants to be touched, or at all, unless you want sex. Ideally you’re touching her in pleasant ways regularly even when you aren’t leading up to having sex.

  43. Sounds like my relationship. I initiate 99% of the time. My boyfriend really wouldn’t need to do much to get things started. Take his clothes off. Take mine off. Say “want to fuck?” Start foreplay. Seriously, ANYTHING that implies he wants sex would be nice. It’s nice to know the other person wants you sometimes.

  44. Definitely start by rubbing on her!! And making her feel good don’t make it all about you remember she has needs to

  45. I always initiate with my bf and I so so wish that he would initiate more. Anything like

    -Turning an innocent kiss into a deep makeout
    -Touching me sexually (grabbing my tits, ass)
    -Showing me he is hard (pressing his erection on my ass from behind, putting my hand on his dick)
    -Telling me how hot/sexy I look, how much he wants me

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