Me f26 and my boyfriend m33 have been together for 5 years, sex was always good up until the 5th year. sex was twice a week and then once a week and now 2 times a month if I get lucky. I enjoyed giving him head and would do it without him asking for it and he loved it but he never returned the favor on his own I would have to tell him every time and when he would it seemed forced, It wasn’t like this before he would actually eat me out with passion and there was foreplay and now just straight to sex. I just moved in with him 5 months ago, I’ve been rejected and honestly I’ve given him the benefit of the doubt because he works hard and I know many times he’s tired but I have tried other days when he’s rested and nothing. I’ve communicated this issue plenty of times but always end up arguing. I really doubt he’s cheating and I know he had porn addiction maybe he’s back on that. He did seek therapy so not sure if it worked. Overall he’s a great guy smart, hardworking, generous, and very loving. but this lack of sex is killing me and I’m getting tired of this, cheating has crossed my mind so many times but that’s not In me and leaving him saddens me because I do love him. I’ve questioned him if he’s still attracted to me he just says of course. What should I do?

9 comments
  1. was the sex already declined before you move in together? and what’s the house arrangement? he own it/you own it/ bought together or rent together?

  2. Does he realize how badly this is affecting you? Do these discussions revolve around you telling him how bad it is he’s not interested, or you saying how hurt you are that you aren’t getting your physical needs fulfilled? Have you considered counseling?

    This is total /r/deadbedrooms material.

  3. You say that this is a deal breaker for you and he either takes steps to fix it or you will have to come to the conclusion that you are not compatible any longer.

  4. How much does he masturbate? Just ejaculating 2x/month is very low for most men, so I would guess he is masturbating in addition to having sex. If that’s so–why? Is he using porn because it’s easier and more stimulating? My spidey sense thinks porn might be the problem.

    I’ve been in his situation where real sex got dull, but porn was exciting, so I avoided sex with my SO in favor of porn. Bad, bad, bad road to go down and will 100% destroy a relationship. I know because I did it.

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