33 y.o. guy who recently ended my first ever relationship.
I won’t get into the reasons for the breakup itself, but here’s where I currently am after the breakup.
She can’t drive far distances. She drives to work and the grocery store. Both are a mile away due to her anxiety.
The only time she reaches out to me is when she needs something. Today she needed to go to her hair appointment which is about 45 minutes away. I drove her and was told it was only going to take about 4 hours so I ended up just waiting in the park bc that’s another 90 minutes of driving.
It ended up taking almost 8 hours!
Last week she needed a $1,000 for a new car down payment. (I said no to that.)
I’m almost doing her entire online class for her. She enrolled for this certificate program, and that averages about 3 assignments every week thankfully it’s almost done. I told her I wasn’t going to do this when we were dating but I’m such a pushover I gave in and have kept doing it.
*I think that I just want to have a life that doesn’t involve her in it, but she deals with so much sadness from abuse and other things from before she met me that I don’t know how to let her down nicely.*
7 comments
Honestly, I don’t think you need to worry about being nice. This woman needs to be told no and learn how to deal with her own problems. Nothing in this post is okay and no good person would expect any of these things from you. Run – run far and fast!
You said it, you wont get into the reasons, therefore our reasonings are no where near valid. If youre bored of the relationship, the only hard part is when the other loves for valid reasons.
Tell her being used isn’t happening anymore and goodbye and good luck.
“I am processing a lot of difficult emotions right now, and I would like to spend some time alone for my own wellbeing. I still appreciate you, but I am going to need my space.”
If she keeps poking you for favors, tell her that you don’t have the emotional bandwidth for it. You sound very burned out and exhausted in your post. She has anxiety, so she should understand that you have mental health issues that you need to address by yourself. If she needs a car ride, she can use Lyft or Uber. If she needs help in her classes, she can contact a tutor.
you simply say were done, I’m living my life now, without you, bye. and then don’t contact her and ignore her requests to use you for her own personal gain…
She’s using you. She haaad to go to a hair appointment 45 minutes away which she scheduled but can’t drive to? And you’re the only one who can take her even though you’ve broken up? She’s the one who’s being rude and inconsiderate. She literally made you wait an entire workday for her hair appointment. Just say we’re broken up now, so I need time away with no contact.
So…are you broken up or not?