Matched with him, and messaged him, he seems to be interested and relatively engaging. A little flirtatious and cheeky, all appropriate. Complimented on a photo of mine. I have probably asked him one question. He has asked a few. I replied about what I do for fun and work which he asked about but I didn’t return with another question. He didn’t phrase it in a boring way either, like ‘What do you do for work?’ how you normally would if you’re just creating a communication buffer/not interested. He still responded and that was 4 days ago. He does take many hours to respond as well. He does work in the medical field and I have been busy too.
I have been responding enthusiastically. Even my opening message which reasonably witty. He did say he was looking at my Instagram last time we spoke because I’ve got minimal photos, but he didn’t follow me. We seem to listen to very similar music which is kind of interesting. Whilst I’m not directly in the medical field, have done research in a similar field that he currently works in so that as well.
I know it seems to be a bit too invested for just a match on bumble but it has been one of the very good matches I’ve had. His replies were sort of crafty and thought out as well, spoke for 2 days.
Don’t double message him right? Advice?
\*\*TL;DR\*\* matched with a so-called good match on bumble, I didn’t ask any questions in my last message but felt it was open enough for him to ask something back. Haven’t heard anything since, almost been 3 weeks. Notice he has his profile up for a bit, then goes on silent mode and back and forth.
3 comments
As enthusiastic as your replies were, maybe you should consider whether the content of what you said gave that impression? If you weren’t asking him that many questions comparatively or acting curiously about him, he may have come to the conclusion you’re not genuinely curious about him and just looking to get your ego stroked?
Best to message him to make sure, don’t refer to the above obviously, but just a light hearted “check in” message hoping he’s well and how you’ve really been enjoying talking with him, so hope you can again soon, but understand if not. Maybe leave a “breadcrumb” question or two in there was well about his general wellbeing or something.
What do you want? Getting to know him more? Or him asking you on a date? Or what exactly?
As long as he is responding into reasonable hours it can be understandable . But if it is everytime like that. If he is busy or not. Then most probably he is playing you. Or just not interested much yet. So what do you want can be the advice behind your question. If you want to know if he is interested or not. Then since he is an exceptional match as you said. Then you can just ask straight forward. I know it can be bold. But at least you will get what you want.because I assume you won’t have any other way to know if he is busy or not interested or playing games.
If you’re genuinely interested than message him but this time actually ask him a question. Tone can be really easy to misinterpret over text so don’t assume that he can tell by osmosis that you’re enthusiastic about the match. If you’re interested, show that by engaging and asking him questions too. No one wants to feel like the interest or effort is all one sided.