AITA for sleeping with my friend’s “friend”?
So I threw a party at my house where I invited my close friends and some family. One of those said close friends, we’ll call him Michael, brought someone over who he introduced to everyone as his FRIEND. So we’re all drinking, having fun, chatting…and then I walk into the kitchen for a drink and my close friend’s “friend” gives me a peck on the mouth. I was a little twisted myself so I didn’t think anything of it, got my drink, and went about my way…then a little more time goes by and he asks me where the bathroom is so of course, I show him the way. During this interaction, we locked ourselves in the bathroom and had a quickie. As I’m coming out, I ran into my other friend, (we’ll call her Jessica) and told her what had just happened,….she looked at me in shock and told me not to tell my friend Michael anything about it.. drunk and confused, I went outside and continued hanging out as if nothing happened. Turns out that this “friend” was actually Michael’s ex-situation….which I had NO KNOWLEDGE OF and NO IDEA til Jessica told me that they were “a thing”. I immediately felt dumb and blind-sided, like what did I just do? Unsure of how to tell Michael what happened, a week passed by and I did not come clean. Jessica and I had a conversation and she told me that she couldn’t keep it in anymore. I told her to go ahead and do whatever made her feel better but that I was planning on having that conversation with Michael anyways. So Jessica and Michael spoke and he called telling me I was toxic and slandering me without listening to my side of things. Ultimately, he said he did not want to be around me anymore and that was it. Did I take too long on telling him? Was I wrong for not telling him right away? This is the first time something like this happens to me and I just keep replaying all the mean things Michael said to me over the phone. I feel disgusting and guilty.
9 comments
This all makes no sense. You had an innocent quickie with someone who turned out to be someone else’s ex, but that person is upset that you got banged by his ex? This is a Michael problem, not a you problem. There is no reason for you to feel disgusting and guilty when you didn’t do anything wrong in the moment.
You probably should have clarified how Michael and this guy knew each other. That’s a go to icebreaker for me when I meet someone new. It’s beyond careless to hook up with someone you don’t know anything about. That’s how you get STDs, stalkers, rumours, drama etc. in your life
Tell kichael the internet says he needs to grow up. Nobody has “claims” over their exes. Thats because theyre exes.
Initially, the asshole was Michael for bringing that kind of drama bomb to your home without even so much as a word of heads up.
Then the asshole was Michael’s ex for going with him to a party and then deciding to try to fuck as many of his friends as he could. You fucking him when you didn’t know him at all was probably foolish, especially if you knew that Michael was into other men, but not particularly assholish. (As a side note, I really hope you used protection.)
Then the asshole was Jessica for getting pissed at you when she also knew about the situation but didn’t warn you at all in advance.
Then the asshole was Jessica again for ratting you out.
Then the asshole was Michael for deciding that verbally abusing you and setting fire to your friendship was the mature thing to do here. Possibly because Jessica and/or Michael’s ex were again assholes and lied about what happened, possibly because Michael is just terrible and lashes out in anger rather than take any responsibility for his wrongdoing or role in what played out. I don’t know the man.
You fucked someone’s ex.
They are fair game. Screw at will.
>Did I take too long on telling him?
In a moral sense, no. In an ideal world, you deserve the chance to sit and think about how you feel about it and what you want to say.
In a practical sense, absolutely. You have to stay ahead of the story. It’s not fair but it’s true.
You didn’t do anything wrong but you should not have let Jessica talk to him first. You should’ve talked to him immediately. He got her side first and obviously was too mad to even listen to you.
Hey Vsauce! Michael here. This guy and I are just friends.
Or are we…?
Everyone is a friend or ex of someone you know or someone who knows someone you know. Unless you travel to a different area you can’t avoid this.