So I (25) matched with this guy (27) on Tinder. We began talking and I got a good vibe about our conversation. After some other topics, he later revealed to me that he was actually 29 turning 30 next month.
I have no issues with him being 30 instead of 27; what I have an issue with is, why the need to change your age? Why lie about it? I asked him this, and he said it was because he thought 30 was an “old” age. He didn’t explain further.
This is my first time dating in my mid 20s and I realized that the disposition of men towards their age might have changed as we grow older. I do not have any male figures in my life to ask this, so maybe some other guys here have some answers/insights to this? Thank you!
14 comments
Depends on the person I guess. As far as I know, majority of men don’t have any insecurities about their age. Your experience were quite specific I would say.
Simple. He’s ashamed for being 30 and being on tinder while not found anyone.
I heard someone else talking about this not too long ago. Their logic was that once you hit 30, the number of potential matches you get drops. So even though 27 and 30 are pretty close in age, 27 will get you more matches than 30 simply based off the number. Kinda makes sense though I suppose when we’re talking about how quickly people are to make a decision when online dating.
I’m 32 and I’ve never been ashamed of my age. I would catch a vibe with you or not even if I was in my 20’s. The only thing I would remotely be insecure about are lifestyle comparisons. I did all my partying in my early 20’s and have a social battery going to events or bars can be annoying with loudness haha.
I’m 33 and it’s great, I enjoy getting older in a way. But online dating sucks in your 30s as everyone is like “so what’s wrong with you” etc etc.
just dont. if this guy lies about something so minor or anything he feels is less than ideal then youre in for a ride
i once met a woman on a dating app who revealed to me she lied about her age. she also showed up looking FAR heavier than her pictures. i never asked for a second date..not bc of her age or weight but bc shes a liar who tried to fool ppl.
anyway, to answer your question, i had no insecurities with specifically turning 30.
No insecurities at all. Not when I turned 30, not when I turned 40. I never lied about my age because there’s not much I can do about it.
Ok so I think I’m in a pretty good spot to answer this since I turned 30 last week.
After hitting 30 you start feeling irrelevant, you constantly seek validation from people in their 20s, you don’t wanna accept the fact that you’re getting older, it’s the decade where I feel men aren’t at their peak physical appearance. Your friends start having kids so your weekends are suddenly getting extremely boring.
It’s just a huge hit in your confidence.
None, life doesn’t start until you turn 30 imho.
If you are not in a relationship, it gets infinitely harder too.
You are looked at like a failure, and it’s hard not too.
I have honestly given up on finding someone when I hit thirty.
Turned 30 last March. I’m still single and I’m worried that my dating pool will be loaded with moms.
I didn’t really have any, to be honest.
My parents were still doing construction as a hobby at 60. They’ve only slowed down because dad was a smoker, and my mom’s knee gave out after a motorcycle wreck earlier in life.
Gosh, the best thing about being 35 now is that I’ve worked out most of those insecurities. I don’t miss them.
I can speculate about what insecurity might have caused this, but that’s not particularly useful IMO. The only useful thing I can think of to say is:
Even when I was insecure about being older, I didn’t lie to people about my age. If he’s already making his insecurity your problem by lying about it, that’s not a great sign. It’s not an *egregious* bad sign, but it’s definitely something to keep an eye on.
Insecurities are fine. Making your insecurities other people’s problems and lying, aren’t fine.