I’m doing this on the mobile, so please forgive any grammatical errors and misspellings.
I (31m) have been seeing a long time friend of mine (31f) on and off again over the last 9 months. We admitted we had feelings for each other pretty early on but took it slow. A couple of months into it, she let me know she wanted to remain friends. Though my ego was bruised, I agreed and started dating other people. We still hung out, but I soon told her I couldn’t continue this because I still had feelings for her. So she gave me space up until the beginning of summer. Then we started hanging out again, but I let her know I wanted to respect the boundaries she set, but we kissed and cuddled and she let me know that she didn’t want to stay friends forever. Then a few weeks ago we slept together. We texted here and there, kept it light and funny, but she didn’t make any solid plans to see each other again until last week.
We hung out all day today from morning til evening and I kissed her on the cheek with no reciprocation or inclining of it going anywhere else.
In the middle of the day, she was showing me a funny video on her phone and as she swiped out I saw Hinge and she quickly closed her phone. It kind of hurt seeing that.
She is very hot and cold. I go a few weeks of hearing from her constantly and then nothing. I had a hunch that maybe she’s keeping her options open (which is her right) and calls on me whenever she wants to feel a “sure thing” without the baggage and responsibility of a committed relationship. I just have a lot of history with her, our chemistry is great and we always have a great time together.
I just don’t know if I should keep going with this. When I try to move on after not hearing from her, I will suddenly get a random text from her wanting to make plans after my attempts were declined days or a week before. Any advise would be helpful, thank you.
2 comments
The way I see it you got 2 options. You can either play the game as well and do your thing while still seeing her like an fb, or if it bothers you that much put a stop to it and forget about her. It all depends on how much you are willing to accept.
and yes she has her options opened (odd for someone in their thirties), so should you. Play the game, if not walk away.
The minute I saw hot and cold in your title, automatic no for me dog. Be with someone that isnt hot and cold about you.