27F, been on and off the dating apps for years. I’ve complained to my mother enough and she has always reassured me that I just haven’t found the right one, been hearing this since I was 21. I feel like I could have been in a relationship or at least “dated” if I went for the guys that have pursued me. However, I got tired of the ones I didn’t like back approaching me and have decided to use bumble. I’ve met up with two guys and didn’t feel them either. It’s only been twice BUT like I said I tried the other apps for years. My life has always been the ones I want don’t want me back/aren’t serious and the ones that like me I don’t want back. My mom says that she really loved my dad and she’s been with her current boyfriend for years but I just don’t get the appeal of either of them (seeing them as if I don’t know them or aren’t related to them). She says she didn’t settle but I just don’t get how you aren’t settling if you aren’t physically attracted to the person. I do feel I will genuinely end up alone, rather be alone vs being taken and miserable. Not that this matters but I don’t really have an active sex drive, I don’t enjoy masturbating and haven’t had sex in years. I saw someone very briefly 3 years ago and while he had a decent personality, I wasn’t physically attracted to him. That was my closest to a relationship, you’re seriously telling me I haven’t been able to find anyone since? It’s like the universe is telling me I can’t do any better, I have never even introduced anyone to my family going on 30. Social anxiety is something I deal with but not that much of a contributing factor. Around a yr ago, I took a 6 month break from dating apps. I have hinge atm but I look for matches once a week or so, guys still msg me but I take a while to reply because I don’t feel motivated to keep the convo going/really need it to be good to stay engaged.
TL;DR: haven’t had success with dating apps, content with being single or just calling it quits?
4 comments
Sometimes you need to know what you’re actually looking for before you can find it.
This is a repost and not worth the emotional labor.
Have you looking into asexuality?
I had so much trouble finding someone I would even consider dating because the list of qualifications was so great. I started lowering my expectations for they had to a X out 10. Dated some girls who were cute but not as good looking as I would normally go for, made a lot less than me, weren’t as educated, any you know what? Dealt with a lot of the same issues. Guess what I’m saying is don’t lower those standards. You deserve the best and if you haven’t found your prince charming, don’t settle.