Me and this guy have been sleeping together the past few months. It’s been great – we have good communication, we get on, and the sex is nice. I said at the beginning that I didn’t want anything serious (at the time was recently out of a LT relationship), which is why I think our casual thing started.
We just go over to each others’ houses and it’s kind of an unspoken rule that we don’t stay over. But recently ive been feeling like I kind of do want to stay over, and more generally get to know him. I know this is kind of against the rules of casual sex, but I think I want more from the relationship now. I don’t think he does though – recently he was away travelling and texted me a few times which was nice, but he was very much like ‘when can we sleep together again when I’m back’ rather than ‘when can we hang out’.
Should I be up front with him about this now and have a conversation? Or just carry on and see if things develop. My worry is that Im going to get too invested in someone who really isn’t interested in something more.
5 comments
Communication is always good
Nothing like regular f’ing to get you to fall in love …. Iol no such thing as casual sex with most women … 😵💫 be careful…..
Short answer: yes.
But be prepared for it to disrupt the relationship if he’s not willing to take the next step.
Interrogate seriously what you like about this guy; do his personality and priorities align with yours? Does his work life make sustaining a relationship difficult? Sex (and particular orgasm) has a physiological bonding effect. Make sure the decision is being made by your humanity and not your hormones.
All that said, yes. If you want a relationship and are willing to risk the current “situation shop” on the chance of upgrading, you’ve got to talk to him. Y’all are never going to be dating if he doesn’t know that’s what’s happening. That said, if he is committed to his “no strings attached” mindset, he might prefer to end the relationship than navigate new hurdles.
Don’t get any more invested until you find out what he wants. You should just flat out tell him. And then if he doesn’t wanna relationship you can manage your expectations and continue, or break it off.