(For starters, I’m a guy talking about a guy here.)
I’m 22, nearly 23 and I’ve never had sex, partly due to not coming to terms with being bi until only last year, and partly because I always lacked the confidence to meet people due to the fact I didn’t know myself, sexuality wise (if that makes sense).
This year I’ve started using dating apps and have matched with a number of people, even if starting conversations is still hard for me. However I’ve recently been talking to this one guy who is clearly very interested in me, and he now wants to meet soon to ‘watch something together’ and ‘cuddle’. Obviously I know what this means, but I’m worried – will someone who has more experience than me think less of me, or our time together, because of my situation? Should I let him know while we’re messaging, before we do anything or afterwards, or even at all?
And also, cos I’m stressing about it, how should I act when making first move, as he’s already been clear about not being top, so it seems he knows what he wants from me and I don’t know if I’ll be able to give that on my first time.
I want to be with him but I’m pretty sure he’s only interested in being friends with benefits, which doesn’t phase me at all but I don’t know if he’ll want to be that if my lack of experience gets in the way.
I kinda feel naïve about all this, I really just think that this guy is very cute and don’t wanna mess it up, so any advice is appreciated. It’s late as I’m posting this, but if you want any more info/context or anything I’ll be sure to reply 🙂
3 comments
I think you should tell them before you engage sexually. I have been able to call every virgin ive slept with and always been generally irked about not being informed because id really prefer not to sleep with virgins. After the first few times i just made a habit of asking before hooking up with anyone to try to avoid it.
First off, guys don’t care. We’ll teach you what we like anyway. The more guys’ preferences you’ve got bouncing around your brain, the worse you’ll be at remembering what I like.
Second, don’t decide to fuck someone before you’ve met them. At least go for a coffee first, the guy that takes your v needs to be gentle and empathetic, so you had better pre-filter.
Third, tell him as or after making out, because again, he needs to handle you carefully so that he doesn’t hurt you.
You need to tell him before you have sex. While most guys don’t care if you’re a virgin or not, in my personal history virgins sometimes get very attached to the first person they sleep with. I’ve dealt with that situation a few times, so I don’t casually sleep with virgins when I can help it.