How long do you date someone exclusively before making it official?

30 comments

1. For me, being exclusive and being official is the same thing so there is no time period after becoming exclusive. The whole point of the multi-dating period (which lasts 2-3 months for me) is to figure out who you want to be exclusive with. I don’t understand the point of some additional time period after that to determine whether you’re official or not.

2. About six weeks for me, but we also did say we were going to be exclusive on our second date.

3. About six weeks for me, but we also did say we were going to be exclusive on our second date.

4. My goal is about 9 or 10 dates in, but sometimes as long as 3 months.

   Obviously some exceptions to it tho

5. I think it depends on your definitions of exclusive and official. For me, exclusive means monogamous with the intention of being official in the near future. So we’ve been dating for a while, normal conversations of a potential relationship have been had and we align.

   Official is basically publicly declaring the relationship. We are now a couple, friend know us on both sides, it’s generally expected that if one of us is invited to an event, it’s both of us unless otherwise specified. We call each other bf/gf/partner/etc.

   The exclusive but not official stage should only be a few weeks for me. I could see moving to exclusive and then wanting to get meeting family and stuff out of the way before becoming official. But being in exclusive but not official easily become the girlfriend experience and I’m not here for that. Either commit or don’t, I won’t sit in a weird limbo state.

6. >I’m hoping to hear from people who multi date

   Check

   >are intimate with more than one person while multi dating

   Check

   >before deciding to date one person exclusively.

   Do what?

   >do you decide to make it an official relationship

   Usually just a couple of month, max. Especially to my social circles.

   So, you’ve been seeing this person for months and decided on exclusivity together? You’re official now.

7. I’ve been multi dating for years and still haven’t chosen someone 😅 it’s rare to find that magic

8. Maybe like 2 months- of constant, nonstop, great dates. Nothing half a$$!

9. I was sexually exclusive with my now boyfriend for 3 months before we became officially a couple (calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend and outwardly a couple to friends, family and social media).

   We had a chance to vet each other to see of we were compatible beyond sex.

10. I think it’s different for every relationship and circumstance.

    My most recent ex, we were exclusive after date 3. The one before him took months.

    It’s what you’re comfortable with ar any given point in time with the person you’re dating.

11. Couple of weeks for me. If I click with the person, I will likely have seen them like 10 times by then.

12. I don’t need a lot of time to decide if I want to stop seeing someone. So, when I was dating, people moved out of the multi-date rotation quickly. Multi-dating for me is that I would stack my first and second dates, but I never went on a second date if I wasn’t interested in something further, and I’m never interested in something further with more than one person. I don’t know if that fits your qualifications or not. As for exclusive/official, there is no distinction for me. I’ve been pulled around too many times by misunderstandings, and I am super clear up front that exclusive and officially in a relationship are the same to me. As to when I have a relationship-defining conversation, it depends. It was after 4 dates for my current relationship.

13. I skipped that “exclusive but not official” phase and went straight from multi-dating to official and exclusive.

    For more detail, my now bf asked me to be official and exclusive a month after we met and I was ready so agreed. I broke it off with anyone else the next day and never saw any of them again. When I think about it, I don’t think I’d ever agree to “exclusive but not official”. That doesn’t sit right with me. If I’m gonna be exclusive I want and deserve the official-ness too. That’s just me though, others might not have a problem with it.

14. I’m a psychopath and have already chosen the linen napkins to match their eye color for our reception by the end of the first date of I’m into them. Exaggerating, but only mildly. Nobody wants brown napkins with cute green speckles..

    But when I’m smitten, I’m all in. A slave to the whoosh. I’ve only had three long term relationships in my life and I’ve declared them all my boyfriend immediately. I can’t imagine dating someone I’m woozy for while they date someone else. Yuck! I don’t know how y’all do that but I dig the carefreeness of it and wish I had the grit.

    So I guess my answer is about 4 minutes.

15. Every time I read things like this, all I can think is … people have more than one option? 🤣

16. What do you mean by make it official? Are you thinking about signing a contract or something?

17. After a period of multi-dating and meeting a few women, there’s usually a sort of “limbo” period where I decide on my own end to only date one person, but it’s not to the point of exclusivity. It allows me to focus my mental energy on one person, and give it a dedicated shot and see if being official makes sense.

    That’s different than the line between being exclusive with someone, and being official, IMO. These are the same to me.

18. I think I track with you but we differ on semantics.

    I date multiple people, until I find myself compatible with one, and looking to spend more time with that one than others/apps. At that time I bring up being exclusive/having a label. I’m a simple guy so I tell them I’d like to formally start an exclusive relationship (boyfriend/girlfriend). That’s just the beginning; meeting friends, family functions, work functions, are all steps in that relationship. What I’m asking for and committing to is trying to make this relationship work with the goal of having a life partner in one another. If it’s not working for me it’s my responsibility to bring it up, try to work on it with my partner, or break up.

19. 12 minutes.

20. I did 2mo multidating, 2mo exclusive. We have been together a year+ now

21. We dated off and on for a couple years. When we realized we were spending every free minute together we became exclusive. About 6 months after that we became “official.”

22. Yeah I don’t really see the point in being exclusive and not official. It feels like a weird micro step towards a relationship – but having said that I am looking for a relationship. I think it’s a good way for people who are afraid of commitment to have all the benefits of a relationship without the label

23. My partner and I became exclusive on date 3. It just seemed right. So far going great nearly three years in and living together 1.5.

24. Few months

25. If you were both mutually seeing and sleeping with other people it seems like the “official” start of your relationship would be when you start exclusivity.

26. After the first or second pregnancy scare :3

27. Isn’t it sort of a semantic question? It really boils down to what you mean by official, and all of the various things that fall under it will have different time frames, and be vary among different partners.

28. This sounds like way too many phases

29. This is how I started approaching things! Haven’t been successful yet 😅 but glad that I’m not the only one out there

30. My boyfriend and I became official in our first date. We’ve been together for a year and a half. There is no general rule. Everyone’s way of connecting is unique.

    edit: la película salió en 1996. Cuarto de primaria fue exactamente en 1995! nací en el 87 y tenía 8 años.