TLDR: My girlfriend seemingly trickle truths me when she’s doing things and then gets mad when I pry.
So I have been dating my girlfriend for 6 months. She’s previously married and recently her ex texted her to let her know that the divorce did not go through and they need to re file. No biggie just need to go re do the paperwork.
The day comes and I’m at work while she has the day off. She meets up with him at the court house and I text her and ask her to keep me in the loop and let me know when it’s done and when she’s on the way home. She tells me they are waiting to be called and it could be awhile. We text periodically about random stuff like what’s for dinner and stuff. Finally I ask her if she’s still waiting and she’s texts me that she is at the grocery store. I then ask her if her ex is still at the courthouse waiting and she replies saying they are at the store together and they were already done at the courthouse.
This kind of pisses me off, I feel like this is a really big lack of communication and it feels like she trickle truthed me about her being with her Ex. Am I in the wrong here? Should I not care? I don’t feel entirely comfortable about this whole situation.
Also I must add that this is common with her.
4 comments
What do you think would happen if you didn’t pry? Do you think she’d feel safer telling you stuff if she didn’t think she had to worry about you getting upset?
And it’s very strange to me that you felt like she was obligated to center you even though the day was spent doing something that was probably very uncomfortable and weird, and before you say “Well, why did she go to the store with him then?” I’d like to know why they’re getting divorced in the first place.
There are more separate things here:
1) she doesn’t have to text you right away when she is on the way home. She may have forgotten you asked for it due to a lot of possible innocent reasons. That is no big deal.
2) do you usually ask her to let you know when she is on the way home? I would understand if you asked to let you know once she got home ok if she had to travel some longer distance. But I wonder what made you ask for the original information.
3) I think it is somewhat weird if they go to the grocery store together. But the weirdness would depend on different factors like how long they have been together, whether they keep in touch, what was the nature of the divorce, how long are they separated etc. They may have just wanted to catch up and they shared a part of their ways.
4) her divorce is not even final and you guys have already been dating for 6 months? Is this (probably short time) between relationships the cause for your insecurity about her being at the courthouse alone and then going to the grocery store without letting you know?
I already had an opinion but your last sentence sealed the deal. OP, while there are many, many, many reasons why the courts would reject a divorce proceedings, it’s not usually about the paperwork. In fact that’s the easy part.
Whatever is going on, this internet stranger would encourage you to step back from this particular woman.
Don’t date people who are still married. Let her go be with her ex. They obviously still have feelings for each other.