So my(19M) girlfriend (20F) has told me that she likes things to be a little rougher sometimes, or she’s pretty confident she’d enjoy it if I was a little rough with her. My question is, is it better to suddenly get rough and suddenly take control, or slowly pick up the pace and intensity until I’m going harder/faster?
4 comments
I’d ask her what she’d prefer.
If she doesn’t know or you don’t want to ask, I’d build up to it the first time you do it and then ask after how she felt about it.
Try different things, erring on the side of safety and gentleness, and ask if she likes that or wants it harder. Always better to be safe. If she isn’t satisfied and doesn’t communicate it, there isn’t much you can do unless you fully trust her then you can just give it and hope you understood what she wanted but be prepared to stop if she isn’t enjoying it.
Ask her. We’re all different, and we all like different things. She may enjoy something rough one time and not the next. Or she may want you to start out slow and get rougher as you go. Communication is the key. It doesn’t need to be an entire conversation every time you have sex. Maybe you could encourage her to give you some clues along the way. All it takes is a few simple words for you to know exactly what to do next.
It’s a matter of preference, but if this is your first time having sex like that, I recommend starting out slow. You won’t accidently go too far and make it uncomfortable for her.