My GF has always dressed extremely casually the entire 3 years we have been together. Never wore makeup or did her hair or anything like that.
About a two months ago she got big into tiktok. I thought it was weird but it’s her life so no big deal right?
Well in the last two months she has morphed from my normal adult GF to some wild cross of “uwu e-girl” and “tiktok cool girl”. She’s got the brown and blonde hair, she puts temporary tattoos on her face, was able to reopen several of her old facial piercings, and draws the pointy eye things almost to her damn temple.
Not only do I find it unattractive just on a physical level I feel like a grown man escorting his teenager daughter around every time we go out. People look, a lot, and she thinks it’s because she looks good but it’s literally because they’re sizing me up to see if I’m a freaking predator.
But no no it’s all fun and games to her because “I get IDed so much more now!” and “I look so cute though”.
TL;DR my GF is dressing like a literal child and I’m afraid of looking like a predator in public with her.
22 comments
Wear a t-shirt that states her age and an arrow pointing at her and see if she likes how you dress…
There are lots of potential reasons why people make dramatic lifestyle changes, and some are of no consequence to a relationship, and some are a foreshadowing of potential problems. I recommend that you take a weekend getaway vacation somewhere with no internet or cell phone service and the two of you are forced to communicate with each face-to-face and have serious talks. I repeat, it’s important that you eliminate distractions as much as possible and get to know each other again. Use this opportunity to explore what is going on in her life and hopefully get some insight into her recent changes. It’s possible that the two of you may be growing apart and you may have to reevaluate if the relationship is salvageable or not. Either way, give it your best shot at making that weekend special.
Read this thread to her and see what she says.
Word for word.
What do you have to lose?
Physical attraction means something.
If you cant be intimate or go out in public without feeling like John Walsh is gonna nail your ass, I don’t know where this is going for you both.
Unless people have come up to you and told you that’s why they’re looking you don’t actually know what they’re thinking
Sir are you a mind reader you really don’t know why people are staring or looking at her? Aren’t you the guy from the other post that made your Gf put on a lot of weight and now you can’t deal with her attire?
God what’s with all the “I don’t like how my gf looks” posts lately? Whether it’s piercings, hair, weight… either love them for who they are or leave. Don’t try to change how she looks or dresses.
Yeahhh… turning 30 is tough for a lot of people
Idk, you don’t have any control over what she does though. There’s not much you can do beside vent to reddit…. Maybe all your dates now will be house dates?
Early mid life crisis.
She can change her look. You don’t own her and your fashion suggestions are just suggestions. I have no idea what she looks like, but I’m not one to assume you’re a criminal just because you’re hanging out with a girl who’s younger than you. I strongly suggest you look into yourself and throw away the petty insecurities that might cause you to feel that way. If people are verbally calling you a creep, then and only then do you have a reason to consider this a problem.
You can leave if you’re not attracted to her, but she has a right to love herself and embrace the styles she’s into, even if they aren’t what you like. Being embarrassed is not a reason to prevent her from being herself. And it doesn’t seem like she’s saying anything unfair about your life choices, so chill out about it.
She most likely being entertained by other men.
I mean, the fact that you’re insanely judgemental probably doesn’t bode well.
People can have preferences but god damn.
I didn’t start wearing makeup two years into my relationship with my bf and even then it was ugly lipstick that didn’t match my tone, mostly cause growing up I had no interest in it and my sisters and mother weren’t the girly types and didn’t do their makeup either. I was 18. Now at 20 I know what fits me better and I don’t look nearly as bad as I did when I first started. It could be she’s going off on trends because she finally feels confident enough in herself to try something that’s deemed as “attention grabbing” and tiktok tutorials are easy to find and follow. She might not be the best at doing her makeup yet but I don’t think she’s doing anything wrong. Let her explore herself in terms of her appearance, maybe you should too. It’s never too late to want to look good or try new things!
Somehow I don’t think that many people are mistaking a 29 yo for a minor… they might think the fashion choices are weird or maybe they think she’s hot, but I don’t think she’s taking more than a decade off herself with eyeliner, piercings, & hair…
Btw, it isn’t that weird for grown adults to dress like this, especially those of us that are “chronically online.” A good example is JennaMarbles circa 2019 (aka when she was 33)
I think you should plan a nice night, buy a dress you like and ask her to dress sweet for you, and channel this energy into enthusiasm for her. Up to you to read the room and decide how you breach the subject and when, but I think you should say something to the effect of loving how much fun she’s been having getting creative with her look, but she’s so beautiful you love getting to see her versatility too, and it would mean a lot to you to do this more often.
Maybe she’s just feeling herself? You said she already had her piercings. Maybe this is her way of feeling better about herself.
You basically just got a new GF and you’re complaining
It’s just self expression man, my girlfriend is a tiktok influencer. She’s not looking to cheat or replace you or anything. She just wants to feel pretty and look beautiful to her standards. Let her be free and experiment. Just because she’s in a relationship with you doesn’t mean she should stop her self discovery. You should also be looking in the mirror and checking if there is anything you’d like to change for yourself. She’s about to turn 30. She’s never be in her 20’s again. Give her this and compliment her show her you notice in the ways she wants to be noticed.
I think she’s getting back into her old self before she dated you and ur not used to it. Sometimes women do morph to match their boyfriends tastes. You’ve been dating for two years so she’s getting back into self expression. You can mention suggestions but if u don’t like it yikes. And as a woman I would tell her it’s too damn bad if u don’t like it
I understand why people are getting on this guy for not being more appreciative of his girlfriend coming out of her shell more. But damn is it so much to ask to not be looked at as a pedophile I mean honestly do y’all not care about how he feels. Yes while she’s doing something she loves to do now he still feels uncomfortable, it’s not saying she shouldn’t wear it out in public anymore it’s just the fact that he feels uncomfortable because he’s looked at as a creep and if you never have been looked at like that then you have no right to say his feelings aren’t valid. Also you can tell the difference from staring because she looks good from staring because that guy looks like a pedo. Also there’s no problem with how she’s dressing now it’s just the fact that you have to take into account how he feels, that doesn’t mean she’s just not dressing like that understand look at it from his perspective.
She’s figuring it out. Love her through it if you really love her. Stop being a petty asshole and worrying about what other people think about your relationship. If you aren’t attracted to her, you should let her go and be with someone who will love her for who she is and wants to be…not something that makes you feel more comfortable. Come on.
Have one last discussion with her and if she does not change dump her. No way for a grown woman to be acting.
This should be a conversation you’re having seriously with your gf. Why exactly are you so terrified people are judging you to be a pervert when you’re out in public, rather than assuming they’re admiring her (by your own description) flashy looks? Maybe they’re just looking because “oh hey, she looks like a TikTokker”. Maybe they’re just looking because “daaannggg, I wish *I* could do wings that good!!” (I’m assuming that’s what you meant by the makeup description, I get guys don’t know makeup lingo for the most part). Maybe they’re admiring her sense of style.
The big thing here is she sounds like she’s enjoying herself, and possibly getting a self confidence boost from it. It’s kind of generally not cool to demand your partner tone themselves down for you, especially over such a superficial thing. *You* know she’s not much younger than you. *She* knows that. If any strangers eyeball you, feel free to mention she’s only two years younger, no, you’re not a creep, yes she’s an adult. Chances are, they weren’t even looking because of that in the first place though. Why would you demand your partner to change and dilute herself because it makes you feel like strangers are judging you? If she’s happy, let her be happy, that should matter more than some nobody on the street’s opinion.