Title. I think my tone comes off as rather rude. I’m also very opinionated and can get into the race for being more right than wrong, and obviously these are huge DON’Ts as far as good social conduct goes. But one of the big dont’s for me is tone.. I think I really struggle to have an approachable manner of speaking, either I’m too honest or welcoming / cold and unapproachable. I also feel that it doesn’t come naturally to me so I end up not really socializing as much at work as I’d like. Since it’s work from home, this is mostly down to tone during calls again. So, I’m just wondering.. how can you improve your tone? Make yourself sound more approachable and nice, rather than closed off?
2 comments
Tone is something that you need to be aware of when it’s occurring. If your tone occurs naturally and it seems “rude” thats okay. I had a coworker who had a tone that always made her seem rude but my opinion changed when she started talking to me for frequently. The quality and frequency of conversation is more important than delivery. You can fix your intonation by just being more engaged in a conversation. Best of luck I know it’s vague but you’ll make progress overtime :]
I would approach this with a mental visualization exercise. You need to mentally have a scenario in which you would absolutely speak with the tone that you are wanting to, instead of your default.
For example if I want to drive more gently, I think of if my grandmother was in the backseat wearing her nice Sunday dress and she’s got a pot of chili that she’s holding on her lap. That visualization helps me to remember and to be in that mental place of driving very gently.
You need to find your verbal scenario that does that for you. Maybe it’s a friend or family member or whatever, but get specific with your visualization and it will help drive the desired behavior.