Hi Everyone
I am a 27 yr old (M) who has never gone on a date before but it’s something I want to try my hand at. I wanted to know what advice you guys can give me regarding this. I know it’s a very open question but please hear me out.
I am reasonably fit, have interesting hobbies but do not know anything about dating / flirting etc. So I really have very little idea as to get started. Please do share your advice on how you got started so that I may learn and start my own journey.
Looking forward to hear your replies and to ask more question later in this sub.
1 comment
M24 here, similar experience. Avoided dating til last year. Went on my first ever date last June, was even in a relationship for 7 months. It’s been quite the journey and you’re going to learn a lot about yourself, good and bad.
For getting into dating, I’d go with the dating apps. Pictures are super important (use photofeeler to get the best pictures for your profile) have a good bio. Don’t do any self deprecating behaviors, saying you suck or asking why someone would match with you. Try to get a number(not their Snapchat) within 4-7 dates and a date set within the 2 week mark preferably.
Being inexperienced will make it harder. And don’t lie or hide that. I tried that and learned it’s best just to be up front. Wouldn’t put that in your bio, just let them know you’re inexperienced before the date(some will have issues with this, some won’t). Now you do need to try and initiate something on the date(something I’m terrible at). I can never manage anything on the first but atleast try to ask for a hug on the second. If you don’t initiate, they tend(and I’ve been told this directly by a few) to think you’re not into them or see you as just a friend.
Don’t play games or do the ‘dont text her for 3 days’ thing or wait to text back or whenever. No one wants to play games. Just do what feels right and ignore all these ‘rules’. Well maybe don’t tell her you love her on the 1st date tho lol
Apps to use, Tinder has the most users but lot more girls just wanting validation or hook ups. It’s the Walmart of dating apps. Hinge and bumble are best imo. But I use all three. Remember these apps are all around 70% men 30% women and 80% of those women go for the same 20% of men so it’ll be rough. Think the average is 1 match per 100 right swipes for men.
Tips when swiping, if they have their insta or snap listed, instant left swipe. They almost always just want attention. All super close up pictures is a big red flag, and if all pictures have filters, be prepared to get Catfished. Any bio’s with ‘entertain me’, ‘make me laugh’, ‘just bored’ or anything like that just left swipe, nothing will come from those
Also research the algorithm and how to set up a profile and use the apps to your advantage. Don’t just swipe on everyone, that actually lowers your chance of matches. Should be swiping right on about 1/10 to 1/15 users
Good luck