My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. He continually pushes boundaries but this time it’s really crossing one. He met a girl and her family on a cruise when he was 16, he is now 27 They have done a couple cruises together. We are from CA and she’s in FL. They have some pretty cutesy pictures together and his best friend has met her on a cruise as well. His best friend tells me she has always had a massive crush on my bf. My bf is going on a ‘friendly’ trip to visit her and her family and he said I couldn’t come along. I’ve met her once briefly when she came to visit him 6 months ago, she was quiet and not super friendly to me, despite my best efforts to be welcoming. They Snapchat everyday. He doesn’t allow me to see my guy friends in person without him so it makes me question his intentions here. He said it’s innocent.
36 comments
What? He doesn’t allow you to see your male friends without him, but he makes trips to visit a woman who has a crush on him, and tells you that you are not allowed to come. Why on earth would you put up with any of this? You need to let him go, and I don’t mean on his trip. I mean let him go forever. You deserve someone who doesn’t control you, manipulate you, and disrespect you.
“He doesn’t let me see my guy friends without him”
So not only is he cheating on you, he’s a controlling asshole?
‘He continually pushes boundaries’ I mean that right there is reason enough to break up with someone, if they can’t do something as incredibly simple as respecting their partner’s boundaries
Break up on the boundary issues alone. I have never heard of such a thing as an 11 year old crush that ends things just like that. He must have been talking to her for 11 years.
He says that she’s never shown an interest in him, to him. And that he thinks all my guy friends would jump at a chance to be inappropriate with me and so I can’t compare the two. Apparently she is innocent and mine are not. And yea, they have been talking for 11 years. Seeing each other here and there, but he had never flown to see her until now.
Gosh, I don’t know if you should end this relationship bc he’s totally into another girl or because you “aren’t allowed” to see your guy friends alone. Pick one!
Also, while he’s gone, go out with a different guy friend every night & post pics all over social media.
Please Update us saying you dumped him. He should bring you along if he wants to go.
While I think you should dump him, the petty side of me wants you to tell him that while he is gone you will be hanging out with all of your guy friends 24/7.
“He said I couldn’t come along.” What is the reason he gave you for this ? If he truly had nothing to hide, he would be respectful rather than dismissive of your discomfort and ask what he can to do make you more comfortable with this genuine friendship.
You mentioned he “continually pushes boundaries.” So this is not his first rodeo with this behavior. When he does that, he shows you what his priorities are- and it’s not the integrity of your relationship.
You have every right to feel the way you do here. Your partner is putting another relationship ahead of yours.
Wow.
I wouldn’t stand to be in a relationship that set such tight boundaries for me such as ‘not being allowed to see male friends without bf present.’ I feel for you on that one because that’s controlling.
And I wouldn’t feel comfortable with the cruise situation, unless my boyfriend assured me that they were just really good friends and we had a fully trusting relationship.
The fact that you are concerned and thebfcat that won’t let you see male friends tells me that there is trust issues in your relationship.
Talk to him and if he doesn’t stop being controlling/if you have a feeling he will cheat on this cruise, then get out of the relationship 🙂
You can’t visit w guy friends alone? Ma’am, that’s a walking red flag not a man lol run….
It’s very hypocritical of him. You aren’t allowed to ser your male friends without him, so you should say he can’t visit this girl without you either. Fair is gonna be fair. (But I get these cheating vibes so maybe not worth the effort either)
Snapchatting her every day and it’s known that this girl has a crush on him. I guess she is his summer girl or something, nice to have a flirty and still have another girl at home. Immature.
Do yourself a favor, if it ain’t gonna be fair between the two of you, I suggest you only think of yourself and not allow this to continue. Be strict and stand your ground.
>My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. He continually pushes boundaries but this time it’s really crossing one.
You spelled ex-boyfriend wrong. This guy is a manipulative shithead.
Tell him while he is gone this will give you a chance to catch up with your guy friends. Dont believe 2 27 year olds will keep it platonic.
She’s been riding your boyfriend for a while honey. If this keeps going on, he’ll eventually break up with you for her. Just leave now.
He’s going on his way to cheat on you… smh
I’m going to assume you’re around the same age if not around 21. Look. When someone makes a rule for you but not for them. It’s usually a red flag.
Youre not allowed to hang out with guy friends without him yet he is allowed to go on a whole cruise/vacation with a girl who you know has had or has a crush on him.
Imo. If I was you. I’d be seeing the writing on the wall. This relationship might not last long term. Especially since you described him as a person who continually pushes boundaries.
Stop it. Get some self respect. Stop letting him cross these boundaries for free. Stop letting him make rules for you but not for him.
You aren’t allowed to see your guy friends because he knows he’s not just friends with his girl friend.
Ultimately, why do you want to be with someone who neither cares about you or respects you enough to respect boundaries?
Get rid of him!
That’s emotional abuse and manipulation STRAIGHT UP.
Please leave him. You deserve better than someone that controls, manipulates, and gaslights you. Even if you can’t see it, his actions are red flags and I’m telling you from experience… they will only get worse until he mentally breaks you.
Boy does this sound like me with my toxic ex. His “ex,” he knew for 10 years and dated off and on, was constantly around him and his friends and his family and told me I had nothing to worry about. Meanwhile I wasn’t allowed to see his friends or his family. I came to find out from one of his female friends that his ex is actually still his girlfriend and I was the other woman. I met his “ex” once when they were apparently broken up at his birthday party which he said he didn’t invite her, but the way she was dressed, I knew he lied. Which well, long story short, I confronted him and it took me time to finally leave but he’s not in my life now. If he’s going and you’re not “allowed” to come along, this gives me massive red flags. I had the same thing happen constantly with my ex, so much to the point I started to wonder if there was something wrong with me. There wasn’t, it was all him. You shouldn’t have to worry about who your boyfriend is with or be excluded when you’re supposed to be exclusive. If he genuinely cared about and respected your feelings he wouldn’t make you worry this way or hurt you emotionally like this. I would honestly tell him, that’s fine, when you get back though you won’t be allowed to see me ever again, we’re done. Give him an ultimatum basically. He doesn’t deserve to have you waiting for him while he goes off on a extended vacation with his “friend” and her family. That’s so messed up. You should be going with him if there was nothing to worry about.
Did you tell him that visiting a friend (girl) is crossing boundaries? You should tell him that he’s hurting your feelings. If he still going, get rid of him. He doesn’t respect you.
Your young and you deserve better. Go find a different man. Hang out with your guy friends and enjoy your life. Maybe you should go after his best friend.
Whose your best guy friend? Let him know while he’s away you and the other guy will be taking that time to camp or visit Vegas idk whatever your into that’s what you and your guy friend/s are doing. No need for him to worry or go along your guy friends will keep you safe. Dump the jerk already.
he doesn’t let you see your guy friend without him being present because he suspects you to be cheating or to potentially cheat. he assumes this because that is exactly what he’s doing around his female friends when you’re not around… leave him
Why are you dating a guy that doesn’t respect you?
He doesn’t “allow” you to see your guy friends, but thinks it appropriate to fly out to spend one on one time with a female friend? Nope.
First, he’s controlling and insecure. Second, he’s a hypocrite.
You’re being played and he WILL be fucking her if he hasn’t already… plain and simple. Anyone that says different Is just as ignorant as you. No offense, it’s just a fact given the history there and details you mentioned.
Do as I say – not as I do. Pretty controlling.
Hell to the NO
make him your ex .. girl come on now .. wake up .
He is a hypocrite. Yeah he’s going there to blow her back out. Sorry to be so blunt but what else would he fly across the country for
he is cheating dump him
Dump. Immediately.
They are definitely fucking
Yeah bro, I’m not going to lie, this is mad suspicious what he is doing. Also, not allowing you to talk to your guy friends? Really? Hypocrite! I would recommend having a heart to heart conversation with him, or perhaps think twice about your relationship.
Boy’s flying out to cheat.
Run like the wind while he’s gone