Is your husband a gamer?

39 comments

1. Depends how much they play. I’ve always been a gamer and only play on my days off and only for an hour or so

2. He is, I don’t mind it. It doesn’t take time away from our family or his work. I enjoy watching him play, he’s very skilled and makes it entertaining, to the point I’ve even joined him at times when I’m less skilled as a player.

3. He has been since before I met him. I knew going in what I was getting into. He will stop if I ask him to spend time with me or anything, but it is his favorite hobby.

4. Yes, it doesn’t bother me. He stops when I ask him to do something without attitude or any fuss and he usually does his share of chores before getting too into it.

   It’s also a good way to spend quality time; I like to game occasionally as well. We also play couple board games together.

5. I couldn’t imagine not being allowed to have a hobby without annoying my wife

6. We both are.

7. We both are. Cut back on it since we had our son, but still stay up late to game.

8. He was, but I started playing online with him and now we team up. I figured, if I can’t beat him, join him.

9. Yes he’s a gamer but it’s never taken away from family things and us time and it’s his time to unwind.

10. For much of my adult life (53), in my free time I loved to play community sports and to also play D&D and occasionally (i.e. a couple of times per year) video games or online chess.

    My ex-wife and now current partner (different people) not only don’t mind when/if I play sports, but actually encourage it. But both hated/hate if I played D&D or video games — it triggered something deep in them when/if I played those. Into my 30s, I played softball, flag football and basketball for organized teams without a single word of complaint from my ex. But the minute I took out a game she would frown and I could feel the judgement. I still play softball and my partner loves that I do that, but when she finds me playing online chess I can feel her spirit retract a little bit. So I basically don’t play games — I’d rather keep the peace than play and feel their judgement 🙂

11. My husband is a gamer with ADHD so when a game comes out, he’s hyper focused for at least a week. It’s frustrating sometimes but communication really helps us compromise. My sleep schedule helps cause I find it hard to stay up past 11 and he’s a night owl so he plays while I sleep lol

12. Also, I’d recommend playing “it takes two” it’s a two player game that requires teamwork while being pretty easy for non gamers to ply. I’d ask my husband to play almost everyday till we beat it

13. He is. I find it annoying, especially if I’m trying to talk to him or our toddler son is around. Don’t want him watching that garbage. But when it’s his own downtime, kid as asleep, idc.

14. Mine is, but not hardcore. He likes certain games and can play a few hours a night to wind down. Usually that’s fine, sometimes I tell him I’m going to come get him at a certain time so we can watch a show together. He’s pretty good about stopping when I come get him.

15. Yea he is. I am too. He does play sometimes more than I like but he will stop if I ask him too. We also play some games together

16. My soon-to-be wife is arguably more of a gamer than I… she’s awesome lol

17. My husband games, but I wouldn’t call him a gamer. It’s relaxation and chill time, we both play a variety of Xbox/PC games of an evening together, or he plays Minecraft with the kids etc. We also tabletop, mostly DnD these days but others as well, and used to LARP together (which is how we met).

    Gaming isn’t a problem unless you make it one or let it become one through having shit priorities and low self discipline. When games become more important than other activities or you start sinking unhealthy amounts of time into them, they are a problem and need to be reined in. If he’s ignoring things around the house or not spending time with or paying attention to you, it’s often a symptom of other things going on so I’d suggest a talk with him about it. Tell him how you feel, negotiate together what’s reasonable and if he’s not willing to do that you’ve got your answer

18. YOU “sound childish”? Your husband is the one that sounds childish to me

19. I am the gamer in the marriage (f47), and he (m42) knew that going in. He has hobbies too. Loves his dirt bike and watching racing. I am conscientious of balancing my gaming with enjoying time with him, being outside, other hobbies etc. I do love to play though, and have a pretty high end setup I’ve built up over the last couple of years. Just like he has his nice racing toys and gear. We both value alone time, so it’s nice that we have things we can go off and do by ourselves, and then come together and enjoy the loves we share.

20. I happily let him while listening to other woman complain about theirs never being home or having guys night out all the time. He’s home. He’s not doing anything wrong. He talks to me when I want. I don’t like him in my face all the time and he doesn’t want me in his all the time. I also found if I let him play without complaining he will praise or stop to do stuff for me or with me.

21. My husband has always been a big gamer. It’s lessened with having a home and 2 children under 10. But that’s one of his favorite ways to relax and decompress. He mostly does it Friday or Saturday nights, and will tell me that he plans on playing something. He’s a great dad and partner, I have no issue with him playing something a few times a week. I have my own hobbies that do not interest him at all, so should he. We should ahve things that are only ours, we don’t have to spend every free second together to have a good relationship/marriage.

22. My husband is and has ADHD…so he has seasons where he plays way too much and neglects us and work. I have to sort of nag at him to get a balance back and he usually does pretty well with balancing out. I do think it’s quite childish and I don’t understand the fascination whatsoever. I do love him so much and try not to control what he finds to be relaxing and fun just because I don’t feel the same.

23. i don’t mind as long as thw other household stuff is taken care of and he doesn’t expect me to just look after the kids. i also expect my own downtime

24. Mine use to play alot especially when my son was i high school and they were really into. It never bothered me and was quite entertaining at times. I would always read, play on my phone/kindle, or go watch TV in another room. It never got in the way of us spending time together or getting house things done though.

25. My husband is a gamer but I’m ok with it because he doesn’t play video games in an unhealthy way and will still go out and do things with me. It also doesn’t get in the way of him doing house chores. For some guys though it does so that can be a problem. I’m also a gamer, but we play different games.

26. Mine is, I’ve never minded. He did go through a period where he was avoiding life and using video games as his way to do it. After having some heart to hearts about it he realized he was shutting the world out and we got help with that. He doesn’t play as often but when he does it’s to connect with friends so it’s a non-issue for me tbh. We have our hobbies we do where we share the same space but do our own thing and we both really appreciate that time. I crochet or sew and he plays his games but we always come together st the end of the night to hang out.

27. He is a casual one, it only bothers me if he ends up staying up wildly late on the weekend and then sleeps in really late the next day. Doesn’t happen too often but when I wake up to pee in the middle of the night and he’s still downstairs yelling at 3 AM I usually go try to put a foot down, haha. It’s generally nice though, he gets to play with his close friends while I get to watch something by myself and chill!

28. I’m a gamer as well, so I don’t find it a problem. We still make a lot of time for each other, it’s not like he’s constantly playing games and ignoring me. If that were the case, the issue wouldn’t be the fact that he has a hobby.

29. My husband is a big [video] gamer which I’m not. It’s how he relaxes and unwinds. Hes had to cut back a lot since we had our kid and I know that hasn’t been easy for him– I told him he had to cut down further and while it initially caused conflicts we are good. Communication really helps.

    He’s also a SAHD, so when I get home and ask “how was your day?” It’s basically kid stuff or game stories from when our son was napping. Even if I don’t follow everything I do my best to listen because goodness knows he listens to me.

30. It depends honestly. When he gets all angry & frustrated I get annoyed & I will be like dude you need to chill out it’s not that serious. Other times I’m totally fine because it keeps him occupied while I’m doing my own thing. I have been resentful though if he’s been playing all fall if I’ve been with the kids or he won’t take a break after I put them to bed like seriously I want time with him & sex that’s not happening at midnight 🙄 sooooo yeah. I sometimes will just be a little immature & bitchy when I feel like he should know & other times I ask when he’s planning on being done so we can have our time. He wants me to play certain games but I get migraines & motion sickness. I’ve tried time & time again but it always ends the same. Plus I’m useless he could never put me in a party with him & his gaming friends so it’s kind of pointless in my opinion. I just feel like he’d get frustrated at me so I avoid the entire topic because I know I’m not a cool gamer girl …. I only like games like animal crossing lol.

31. Coming from a husband that is a gamer: every husband needs something. Whether that’s fishing, woodworking, gaming, or whatever. Every single guy needs something that they can get away from life for a bit. As long as he isn’t letting himself go or putting off more important things I don’t see it as a problem.

32. My husband enjoys playing his Xbox in his downtime. He always asks me if I mind him playing because it’s on the TV which I appreciate a lot. He sometimes stays up too late playing and then is grumpy and tired the next day, but he could do that looking at memes or reading a book just as easily so I don’t blame him. It’s equivalent to me watching trash TV – a bit of brain off time. Sometimes he plays when I wish he would talk to me instead, but it’s important we both have time to ourselves too.

33. A gamer? Yes. A gaming addict? No. He hasn’t played video games in about a week, but has a gaming setup and enjoys weekend games after meeting all his obligations with school and work. And as always, he would prefer a night out with me over his games any day. Not all “gamers” are video game addicts.

    A video game addict is going to feel like being in a relationship with any other kind of addict, as they will pick their drug or choice, games, over obligations and marriage time. I completely understand not being able to be in a relationship with an addict of that is what’s going on.

34. My husband was obsessed with video games basically his whole life. When we started dating though, it never interfered. He was always like, I’d rather hang with you than play games. When I would go home after we’d be together he’d play at night, I know that. When he had a day off and he was home, he’d play.
    When we got pregnant and moved in together, he only played in the evenings, then when baby was born again in the evenings, occasionally on weekends. It never bothered me and still doesn’t, it’s his outlet. But now we have two children and our plates are so full he’s got nothing even setup to play.

    His phone though…. That thing is so annoying. He’s on it constantly. Drives me up the wall.

35. Sorry but your in the wrong. Its his hobby his way of relaxing and de compressing and something he enjoys.

36. I love to watch him play. But he is one of those people that gets sucked into things so he decided he was done with them. He’d get wrapped up and ignore us for hours. I never fought with him about it but he chose on his own.

37. Yes but we both are. We each had a console so we could play some games together but for the most part we play alone. Just like our music tastes, we have some similarities but for the most part are into different genres.

    We both have gaming PCs, he built mine last fall after buying himself a new one because his last one crapped out. I really didnt need one but he was so excited to learn so I said go for it and am so glad he did.

    Since it’s just us and the dogs in the house (kids all grown) we have our PCs in the living room on each end of a very large sectional sofa so we’re still in the same room while we play.

38. Listen, my ex husband was a gamer and it annoyed the crap out of me too. You’re not wrong for feeling this way but to me now with the hindsight I have from my first marriage, I see it as a point of incompatibility. I do not like video games or have any interest in them. I do not like spending hours in front of any electronic device period. So somebody who does enjoy that lifestyle simply isn’t a good fit for me as a life partner. My current partner is not a gamer and we are much better suited in every way than I was with my first husband.

39. Nope, but I wouldn’t care as long as it didn’t take time away from the family. I have shows I like to watch, books to read, etc. I don’t see an issue with it if it’s not overly time consuming.