I’ve 100% decided to not have children and also get a vasectomy. Most women, friends or otherwise, always say they want to have children in the future. I’m feeling a little off track because of this and wonder if I’ve made the wrong choice. I’m only 22. I do not like children, my childhood was abusive, I don’t feel like spending money on children, and I love my freedom and privacy and free time. These are the reasons I don’t want to have children. I want to be upfront about this decision so that I don’t waste anyone’s time. I’m willing to do a vasectomy when I find an appropriate partner. Right now, vasectomy is useless because I don’t even have sex.
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32 and dating again – being strictly child-free eliminates at least 80% of my dating pool, whether it be women with kids from a previous relationship or women who want kids in the future.
At your age it won’t be as impactful because your pool is larger to begin with. Continue to be up front about it – there are ladies who feel the same and will see that as a big plus.
No problems here
Nope!
Finding a woman who is childfree is insanely hard. Of those who don’t have any already, it’s probably a 40/60 split
While your current feelings are valid, you are only 22 and while there is a chance you may feel this way the rest of your life there is an equal chance that you will not. People change as they grow older and it is IMPOSSIBLE to predict how you will feel a decade or two from now. Instead of worrying about a future you can’t possibly predict how about focusing on the present moment and finding a partner you love and who loves you and letting the rest of your life unfold naturally? It will unfold naturally no matter what you do it’ll just be more enjoyable if you simply let it happen instead of fighting it by trying to live in a future that is unknown. Also there are plenty of women who want to be childfree but many have not made that decision barely into adulthood.
I’m 36f. Also, do not want kids. Last 2 guys I dated said they also did not want kids. Imagine my surprise when both told me they did. The one guy actually cried about it. It’s amazing what ppl will lie about to get laid. Anyways, I think it’s a great thing. I would love to find a guy that has a vasectomy. I don’t want to be on birth control anymore. It just fucks with my hormones and sex drive.
As a woman, I applaud you for taking responsibility for birth control. This is almost always dumped on women. If you choose not to get a vasectomy, use condoms every time, but remember, they are not 100% foolproof. Anytime you have intercourse, you risk the chance of pregnancy regardless of the birth control method short of sterilization.
Ur 22. I personally think as u get older that might change. But u do u my bro.
Also yes most women want children at some point.
keep ur head up bro some of us child free ladies are prayin for a child free fixed man
A lot of women eventually want a family in the future. Or at the very least, are open to the possibility of it happening. It will limit the dating pool somewhat, but at your age I can’t imagine too many 22-year-old women being terribly upset. Because most don’t want children right now either.
I wouldn’t worry that you’ve made the wrong choice, because you haven’t gone through with a vasectomy, so if by some chance as you get older you change your mind, no harm no foul.
i’m 20f and i’ve known that i’ll never have kids at age 8. i think it’s something you def gotta ask about and respectfully decline if you’re not finding someone with similar child free vibes. good luck getting your vasectomy!!!
There aren’t many people your age who are definitive about not having kids. Women tend to reach that point later in life.
If it was me I’d get into therapy before making a choice you may want to unmake one day. At 22 with no kids it’s normal to not want to spend money on children. As for your past that should be resolved before you let it impact your future that way. As for women there are plenty who don’t want kids just be upfront about it and unless you actually do change your mind 100% do not waver. You’ll also need to verify they are on birth control and use a condom if you don’t have your vasectomy. If a woman decides your the one and decides you should have a baby regardless of how you feel your life is going to go into a tailspin.
most of my female friends are childfree (we’re early 30s). it’s pretty common where i’m located, they’re all married or engaged or in LTR. eventually you find your fit! staying true to what you want may eliminate a swathe of the dating pool, but it’s a good thing because you don’t waste your time on that section of the dating world.
I don’t understand how you would have trouble finding someone. The world is on a population colopase, mainly because people aren’t having children.
I think you’ll be fine, there are a lot of women who don’t want children, myself being one of them. For some men I dated it was a dealbreaker but my husband felt 100% the same way. Just gotta be open and make sure your life choices align
Been married 20 plus years and we have mo kids.
32f. Have never wanted kids, and exclude men with children from my dating pool/searches. It’s condensed my dating pool, which made dating a smidge harder but was easier to connect on life goals, aspirations etc when I found someone with the same outlook on children. (even if it didn’t work out long term). Never felt that staying childfree created any challenges though. Hold your ground and also consider that vasectomy. As a woman who can’t take birth control I would appreciate partners that were snipped so I had less to worry about. Plus, you control the narrative that you could never be taken advantage of for children, and it can always be undone. Best of luck to you.
In my experience it’s absolutely a challenge to meet any women who aren’t trying to find someone to have kids with. Would love to meet someone who can be on the same page but they’re few and far between around me.
Yeah most girls want children in the future. I’m 27 so there’s really no point in wasting both our time when I’m 100% certain I don’t want kids ever. So I end up with a lot of first dates that go nowhere
Sheit I’m a woman in my 30s who hates kids and even I have a hard time finding childfree men. Most guys are single dads with baby mama drama or they want kids someday. No thanks I’d rather be single than ruin my life with that nonsense
there are so many women, including myself, who do not want children. it’s becoming a lot more common and normalized.
Having children is definitely popular, however it is LESS popular now among women than ever before in human history.
I swiped right on everyone who listed themselves as having had a vasectomy on my dating apps.
You will find plenty of women who do not want children but it’s not going to be the majority.
21 F and very much CF.
36m haven’t even held hands with someone in nearly 8 years. I have come to the conclusion that I don’t have a say in the matter as the more pressing issue is finding someone that would want to live life with me. At this point it is all up to them. I can’t afford finding the one person in a decade only to realize we are not aligned.
It’s more difficult to find someone, but we’re out there! You definitely made the right choice, because you shouldn’t bring children into this world that you don’t want, just so you can find a partner easier. The right woman for you will be extra happy that you are so ademently childfree.
There are women that don’t want kids. Honestly I don’t care if I have a kid or not, I’m willing to date whoever so long as I get my happy ending. If they want me to get a vasectomy then I’ll get one once we’re engaged
As a guy, I find challenging finding girls who actually want children honestly
Well my thing was I didn’t choose to be childfree for life, just chose to wait until I met the right woman. Unfortunately I waited too long and missed the boat. Everyone desirable went and paired off and had kids while I was busy trying to get my life together and now I’ll never get to experience the joy of having my own family.
At the age of 22 that is young to get vasectomy. Many women your age will not be interested bc of this. Some may like it though.
no kids ever in my household and i’m 25 everyone says i’ll change my mind but i won’t
Finding a guy who knows he never wants kids is also very hard.
I’m mid 20s/F in NYC and most guys my age (24-31 ish) don’t have an answer about kids or are “maybe one day I’ll have kids, but not now”. It’s not comfortable when I want a long term relationship.
Don’t know how to naturally (in real life) meet childfree men but holding out hope still…
Did you get a vasectomy already? Dude I’m 22 too, I wouldn’t make a life altering choice like that at our age. Could fuck up your future self
As a Christian guy who doesn’t want kids….
Yeah it’s a challenge
As a women, these are all valid reasons. Very similar to my own. Meeting someone with the same wishes as you is mostly about luck
Honestly, as a female, I don’t want children either, too much effort, too little reward
We do exist! I met my now husband when I was 31. I’ve always known I didn’t want kids, and he didn’t feel strongly about having them either. We’ve been together 7 years and are happy as clams. We have dogs though!
Yes it is challenging. My last ex-gf accepted my leaning childfree at the start but later changed her mind to become a fencesitter & then got upset because she wanted me to join. So it was a huge conflict that seriously damaged the LTR.
You’re still young. You have time to find a soul mate who feels the same.
Coming from a woman, I never want kids and finding a dude who has had a vasectomy or is getting one is a dream for me. I’m in my early 20s as well so we’re out there.
Just keep looking. You’ll find a lady who doesn’t want kids. Totally cool to not want kids
Not challenging at all. Pretty sure it would be way harder to find a woman if I had kids. Open to the possibility of changing my mind on kids later.
30m here, I’ve had the best luck with older women who also don’t want any. Generally by late 30s or so they’ve figured it out.
I am a 22 year old girl who also doesn’t want children in the future – although I love kids and want a job working with them lol I just don’t want any of my own. But like most of my friends my age also don’t want kids idk so it seems like it’s way more common and it normalized to not want kids.
that’s the purpose of thinking, so we can kill our ideas instead our bodies. you haven’t looked into the abyss hard enough.
Honestly, if you’re 100% sure on this. Go ahead and get it done. You don’t have a bunch of hoops to go through for it.
You’ll find a partner who agrees with your lifestyle eventually, just as long as you take your time, and are as upfront as possible. A good certain sign you can give is, “I want to pursue a child free lifestyle so much, that I’ve already had a vasectomy.” Honestly, major respect for knowing what you want already.
The only problem I’ve had is the under 30 crowd changing their mind.