my boyfriend has only had one other sexual partner before me. we have sex regularly and he’s aggressive (which is fine w me) but i cannot cum unless i use my vibrator and it makes him sad. he also does ZERO foreplay like at all (i’m always ready if you know what i mean) but still like this is not fun. i have only ever been able to orgasm from oral and he’s not that good at it and seems almost scared of it (he openly admits he’s being lazy during sex) i need to know how to go about this dilemma because i’m tired of him not making me cum and i’m sure he’s tired of it too.
i’m not willing to leave him just because he’s inexperienced and i’m not. he also used to constantly watch porn and masturbate many times a day and now says his “dick is broken” because of it, sometimes it goes soft and sometimes he just can’t cum at all is that a possibility that porn can do that or does he just hate me? he only watches very realistic amateur porn. someone give me insight plz 🥲
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He doesn’t do foreplay, he knows what gets you off (oral) but refuses to learn your body and how to please you, he openly admits to being lazy… what is the draw for you here? This isn’t inexperience, it’s pure selfishness. If he’s “sad” that he can’t make you cum then he should *do something* about it.
The only answer here is communication. U need to tell him what u need and how u need it done. Work as a team to achieve this “goal”.
Take off the rose-colored glasses, hun. You say he admits to being lazy during sex and refuses to do foreplay. This is not inexperience, he simply does not care about whether you get off or not and makes the experience all about him. This says a lot more about him than just sex too. Dump him.
We can give tons of advice on how to help a beginner get better, but there isn’t anything we can offer for someone who doesn’t want to even try.
So no foreplay?
If he doesn’t do foreplay or oral right how do you expect to cum? Also there’s nothing wrong with using a vib during sex.
There are lot’s of ways for you to work together to make sure you get off. If he watches that much porn it’s not inexperienced hell he should have learned something. If he won’t put effort into your sex life. When done properly can be the best experience couples can share. He won’t put effort into your relationship!!!
Hmm, it’s extra tough if they aren’t interested, but seeing as u have no intention to leave.
Maybe ur best bet is positive reinforcement?
Is there anything u don’t do often (that he loves) that u can bargain with? Like he makes u cum = he gets anal. Or maybe if he makes u cum, he gets an enthusiastic bj to completion. If u incentivize the effort then u may find him getting excited to put effort in.
The only insight from this is to break up.
As other commenters have said he’s selfish. You don’t want to break up because he’s ‘inexperienced’ but that’s not the issue – he’s lazy and he doesn’t care about your pleasure. That is a perfectly acceptable reason to end the relationship. And you should. He’s already admitted he’s lazy and he’s using that to make you expect no further improvement from him. Why stay with someone like that?
And in regard to his dick going soft – he’s probably got a death grip while masturbating to the porn. So he’s trained his brain and dick to only achieve orgasm through an extremely tight grip (that your vagina will never be able to provide – just your hands) and under specific circumstances (watching other people have sex). Actual sex with you is not enough for him to stay hard because of this. Actual sex with anyone I bet would not be enough for him because he’s wanked himself into a corner – and then locked himself in with his laziness.