Now before anything, I’d like to say I’m not trying to seem mean but I’d like genuine advice here.
My bf and I have been together for three, soon to be four years, LDR wise and we’ve been an on and off couple before in high school but now things are getting somewhat weird.
Our relationships been rocky since we had constant fights where I’d ask for him to do more but he doesn’t want to, or I’d like more then the bare minimum but he’s not really ok with the thought of it, unless we fight and I’m on the brink of tears and ready to leave the relationship.
Don’t get me wrong he’s a good guy but he hates “change” no matter how many times I ask him, or cry about it. It’s really starting to hurt me mentally and emotionally since I do love him still but now I’m conflicted between being disgusted to be with him and loving him.
I realize after we broke up last week from a huge disagreement where I asked him to changed, and realized that he won’t for me but for other people, it made me upset and hurt. I emotionally clocked out of the relationship and I’m somewhat ok now with him but 90% my emotions for him aren’t there.
He’s “changing” now as he realized he’d lose me and I was over it, but now I feel disgusted. I’m happy he’s changing and doing small gestures that I wanted but now I feel like it’s a little late and he expects us to just go back to how things were, like we’d usually do after we fight and get back together.
Apart of me can’t even say I love you to him when he says I love you, since I’d feel like I’m lying to myself, but another part of me still cares and thinks it’s true.
I should be happy with how things are progressing but even he knows he’s doing a “slow” change to see how’d I’d react.
I don’t know, I need genuine advice. We are somewhat back together (well, I didn’t say we were but I guess we somewhat are?) but I’m not 100% convinced that he’s really changing for the better.
What should I do?
TL;DR I’m conflicted with leaving my boyfriend after four years, because of change.
1 comment
You can’t expect him to do all the changes. Sometimes you need to learn to adapt as well.